Sex During Pregnancy
Yes, sex got you pregnant in the first place...but it doesn't have to stop there. Here's the scoop on what to expect in the next nine months of lovin'.
“People are definitely most surprised that [pregnant sex] can be more orgasmic,” says Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, sexologist and coauthor of Your Orgasmic Pregnancy. Thanks in part to increased blood flow to the area, many lucky ladies report a pumped-up sex drive, more pleasurable sex, and a more intense climax. (Some women even orgasm for the first time ever.) This same sensitivity can also make things too intense, so let your partner know if you need to take it slow.
Gaining a few dozen pounds might not sound so alluring, but plenty of couples revel in a mom's newfound “womanly” figure. Pregnant can absolutely be sexy. “I am not sure my husband notices my belly because he is too busy looking at my D boobies,” jokes catycombs, a soon-to-be-mom chatting on the boards.
Your changing body will undoubtedly call for a change in routine, so take advantage of the chance to try something new! “It was a lot more sensual and exciting for me. We experimented with different positions and found a few that were fun!” says Becki777, another mom on TheBump.com.
“It can be tough to reconcile that a woman can be maternal and erotic,” explains Fulbright, pointing out that sexual attraction during pregnancy can make some folks feel downright dirty. These feelings are normal — and don't have to mean nine months without action. “Talk about it,” Fulbright insists, explaining that staying physically and emotionally connected now will significantly up your odds of staying close throughout childbirth and into new-parenthood.
Queasies & miscarriage fears
When you want to puke, you probably don't want to have sex. Especially in the first trimester, morning (or all-day) sickness can put a damper on your sex life. Plus, some couples get nervous about causing harm to the tiny new fetus. Research shows that sex won't hurt a low-risk pregnancy, but if you just can't get into it, try being intimate in other ways. (Good news: The second trimester is likely to lead to a new burst of energy and more confidence that the baby is A-OK.)
Yep, pregnancy can be a turn-on for both of you — just not always at the same time. “My husband and I have done a complete role reversal. I want it all the time and he doesn't,” says Jennys1stBaby. It's normal to (both!) experience some serious libido shifting as your body changes and you get used to the idea of a baby in your midst. In the meantime, Fulbright recommends that couples be “open to the idea of self-pleasuring.”
The Sumo Effect
“I refuse to be on top (I feel huge!) and he can't lay on top of me in missionary anymore — he has to hold himself up,” admits nicolebuchalla. There's no denying that the last days (or months) of pregnancy can cause some serious bedroom blocks. It's tough to get into a roll in the hay when rolling in general is downright impossible. Again, get creative. (Or heck, just cuddle instead.)
Dreams and sleepgasms
Warning: Even if your mind is rarely in the gutter, you might wake all flushed after a subconscious play date with a high school sweetheart, a random celebrity...or your not-even-slightly-attractive coworker. It's disturbing, but it happens. Some women even report waking to a full-on orgasm. Craziness.
Pregnant sex can be weird for a guy. After all, intercourse does involve the baby's only exit route. The top daddy fears: “poking,” “hurting,” or “having sex in front of” the baby. Luckily, the cervix and amniotic sac make it pretty much impossible for your guy's member to get anywhere near the little one (no matter how enormous he thinks he is), and baby is more likely comforted by the rocking than disturbed by the naughtiness.
Contractions and kicks
After a good romp, your uterus might become rock-hard for a few. Don't worry — it's totally normal and doesn't mean you're going into labor. In fact, your uterus always did this after an orgasm, it's just quite a bit bigger now and has a baby inside. On that note, don't be shocked if baby starts jumping around a little. “I know he is totally unaware and doesn't care, but it is still an odd thought that he is there,” says Starlette1983. Again, this is normal. Weird, yes, but normal.