Title
Pregnancy Story in the Works:
*Married Feb 19, 2011
*Thought we might be pregnant weekend of 3/12-13, took the test, and to my surprise, I was really disappointed to see a negative result; hubby & I discuss moving up our original "wait a year" plan
*3/27!
*First half of April: I overnight had increased hunger and the occasional thought of maybe! drifted into my head but I didn't give it much attention because I didn't want to be disappointed again
*4/10: first session of a natural family planning course - I'd been charting for a few months but couldn't figure out why mine were so non-textbook! Had the nurse at the training take a look at my chart and she gave me a knowing look but said very little - she gave me the information for the clinc where she worked. I redid the math and realized Oh!!! Went home, took a test while Gautam was in the other room and it was positive. I took a breathe, walked into the living room and asked him to set aside the laptop for a moment, then handed him the test - it was positive!
*Week of 4/11-14: I anxiously made an appointment at the clinic for that week to confirm the results. They drew some blood samples and went over a basic health history.
*4/14: that night, I got on a bus to NYC because Gautam & I were having a New York wedding party for our east coast friends who couldn't make it to actual Feb wedding. I was full of nervous energy.
*4/15: a whirlwind of getting the morning phone call of "Congratulations! You're pregnant!" but my progesterone levels were low & I needed to start taking supplements immediately; speaking to students at my graduate program about an upcoming job fair; running around the Upper West Side like mad trying to find a pharmacy that carried pregnancy-related Rxs (not easy!); trying to sort out our pizza arrangements for the next-day PARTY and leaving my purse in said pizza parlor because of 1) the hecticness of the day and 2) the forgetfulness that so frequently comes along with the pregnancy hormones. We called our parents that night to tell them the good news.
*4/16: Wedding Celebration #2
I squeezed into a control slip that was the same size as the one I'd worn on the wedding day and that is the last time I will be fitting into that for probably a year+! Got a haircut, got dolled up. We spent the day socializing with a ton of friends. The priest who had married us stopped by & we pulled him aside to tell him the good news - he was very happy for us! I told my good friend because she had asked me about our child plans the night before and I felt like I had to tell somebody! The party went on for 8+ hours, we had a great time, and I was totally exhausted by the end.
*Late April: a committee I serve on for my religious community had a flurry of activity and I had meeting after meeting that ran late into the night; I had previously volunteered to host/provide food for a few events but we weren't telling people yet (I wanted to wait til the 1st trimest was complete) so hubby was a little worried about all the running around I was doing; we told friend #2 who came & stayed with us because it's hard to hide when someone's in your home :)
*4/30: attended a friend's baby shower - my first! and it was sooo much fun, made me very excited
*5/6: Ultrasound #1 - confirmed due date (my charting was accurate!) and we got to hear the heartbeat for the first time.
Note: I was still charting because I didn't know there was no point once you're already pregnant so I have weeks & weeks of 98+ temps - it was reassuring to see!
*5/14 - I finally tell some of Baha'is I'm expecting and am pleasantly surprised to discover my friend is also expecting! We're just a month apart.
*5/15: family planning class #2 (of a 3 part series)
We go back & tell our instructors that we're expecting! and find out that I can hold off on charting for now but to keep coming to the class so that we can continue to use the method in the future. She also recommends the post partum class.
*5/20 - 5/31: Off to India for Wedding Celebration #3!
The 3rd & final wedding celebration takes place just as the 1st trimester comes to a close. For my husband's family & friends who couldn't fly across the globe, we had a 2nd reception, full of food, cake, music, and plenty of colorful flare! My parents, sister & her boyfriend joined us. We Americans went sight seeing around Delhi for a couple days, staying with my SIL. We then traveled down to Mumbai to finalize all the details. My mom, sister, & I dressed up in colorful saris and had a great time. My mini-bump showed through the 6 yards of fabric, if you knew what I normally look like. I got a bit of food poisoning at the end, which was scary, but in the end the baby was fine. Turns out, with GI issues, the mother can be sick & miserable while the baby is just dandy and I am very grateful for that.
*6/7: I'm finally back at work after recovering from illness. I tell my boss of the pregnancy, who's a little surprised but supportive and tells me about the adventures he & his wife had with birth, childcare and preschools.
*6/10: I have my first Dr appt after the illness (had gone to urgent care & the ER in the meantime since being back from India but all was good!) and my experience in the ER inspired me to bring up my birth preferences with my OB (same group practice with the nurse I'd met at the family planning class) and unfortunately, I found out that they only do deliveries at 1 location (not my location of choice) and my ideas about being needle-free would be a bit burdensome for them. I was disappointed & torn about what to do.
*6/12: 3rd & Final planning class and husband returns from India!
*6/24-26: Gautam moves from Boston to DC!
For the first 3-4 months of marriage, we lived in a DC/Boston split, alternating weekends. While it was nice to get away from the commitments of our home cities frequently, it was also a bit draining to travel so frequently and it made me feel like I didn't fully live in either place. Plus, with the pregnancy, we wanted to share as much of the experience as possible. So I flew up for my last trip to Boston, we spent Friday night at a dance class (we had bought a package for our wedding dance that had 1 class left over) and then had dinner at a very cute & tasty Tibetan cafe in town. Saturday morning, Gautam & his roommate packed up the uHaul, and we made a slow drive down to NJ, with a lot of frequent stops for me & baby. We met up with some friends in NJ that night and I had the best Indian potato curry ever. We told them we were expecting - word keeps spreading :) Drove from NJ to DC the next day & poor Gautam had to unload mostly on his own - I carried the occassional light bag of linens.
*7/8: I have my last & final appointment with the OB group practice. Everything in my bloodwork looked great and they don't need to see me for 6 more weeks. Since baby & I were healthy, they didn't have much to say to me and I wanted a more hands on approach. I wanted a provider who had useful things to say to some one who's a first time mom but also totally healthy. So I started researching birth centers & midwives more thoroughly.
*7/16: New/Potential Patient orientation at DC Birth Center
*7/27: First birth center/midwife appointment & 20 week sonogram
Didn't totally click with the midwife, started to question my decision to switch providers.
20 week sonogram was amazing - that little guy/gal was moving around like crazy when it first started - I had just had lunch. Everything looked normal & we got a CD with some normal pictures & a couple 3D ones. We didn't want to find out the gender.
*8/5-8/12: 60+ hours of training completed in a week! in Indiana. super hectic week and for the first time in the pregnancy, I begin to gain more than the minimum.
*Mid Aug - early Oct: prenatal yoga and I actually enjoyed it! It helped with my back pain so much!! I totally recommend it.
*8/17: First group appt @ DC Birth Center
This confirms for me that it's not the right match. While the group-care model had sounded appealing in the orientation because of the bonds, extra material that's covered, and the fun extras like belly casting - it was just too chaotic for me. I only got 5 minutes with the midwife, which were in the corner of the room, so no real privacy. The group discussion was interrupted by participants coming in & out to answer cell phone calls, and the nutrition material covered was too introductory for me, personally. So again, I found myself torn - do I go back to the original OB practice for my prenatal care or do I stick it out with less than satisfactory prenatal care so that I can birth in a birth center? I was pretty blue with my prospects.
*8/17 - I get the call that I'm off the waitlist for a different birth center! So I schedule a drop-in tour the next day, take my husband & go over to transfer our care.
*Mid-August: I feel the first recognizable kicks while watching a TV show on Hulu. I call out to Gautam: "my heart is beating in my belly" and he comes over, places his hand on me, and we joyously laugh: "that's not your heartbeat!" I had felt a few movements the weeks prior but I didn't realize what they were -they felt like bubbles in my digestive track.
*8/21: Start of the Bradley Method Childbirth course
*9/1: Move into our new 2 bedroom apartment; get the old one cleaned up so our subletter can move in that evening - the day was long, I forgot to eat lunch (even though we bought it!), and by the end was a crying for no apparent reason. Gautam's such a good sport with these hormonal fluctuations!
*9/7 - 9/11: I fly out to my hometown to visit my mom & dad. My main objection was to obsorb as much of my mother's birthing wisdom as possible: she naturally birthed 4 children! It was a nice retreat and my mom pulled out the baby clothes she's saved for the past couple of decades.
*9/19: First full appt with the new birth center!
It's also the day of my glucose test (not so tasty but not as horrible as others say). This is a much better fit! The midwife & I click, she takes time to answer questions, asks me & Gautam about our preparation thus far and overall, it just feels right, like I would be happy to see her when I go into labor. So I stop going to the other birth center's group appointments.
*9/20: First La Leche League meeting - there are some enthusiastic BFers out there! But it sure is good to know that support is not far away. Again, I'm inspired by my mom who BF all 4 kids and had a lot more struggles with weaning than with BFing! I'm hoping my body is as naturally gifted with these things as hers :)
*9/24: Our first consignment sale!
In the DC metro area, the underground mom survival survival tactics seem to relie on these HUGE consignment sales! We spent $94 for the exact stroller we wanted, a boppy pillow, a baby tub, and a ton of clothes, blankets, socks. It was overwhelming but totally worth it - it would have taken me hours to do the research to find these items on Craigslist & it would have taken even longer to go out & individually pick up each of these items. By spending 3 hours early 1 Saturday morning, we go things for way cheaper than we would have found even on CL and did it so quickly!
*10/7: First day of continuous off & on Braxton Hicks. I had felt a few before but didn't quite know how to tell them apart from baby's movements but now they're distinct!
*10/15: Baby Care class @ INOVA Alexandria
A much needed refresher/introduction to bathing, feeding, holding, and maintaining a safe home environment for baby. Glad we went!
*10/31: 3rd appt at Birth Care, baby is head down, hanging "low" and I'm measuring right on target! That explains why I suddenly can breathe & go up a flight of stairs again! As well as why I have to pee all the time :) We went over the car transportation plan - still a little up in the air but we're trying to cover all the bases. My 3 day diet sample got a "good, excellent - just keep doing that!" Some wonderful people have offered to throw a joint baby shower for me & a friend who are only a month a part. It's so sweet because I still feel pretty new here and didn't expect a shower. I finished off the registry today and was surprised to see that we actually already have most of the baby equipment we need - after 2 consignment sales where we spent less than $200 total! Baby Bargains, eat your heart out :)
*11/03: BirthDay Planning Party for moms due in December at the Birth Center: the midwives on presented standard procedures for the office, transfer procedures, post partum care, and what we need to have ready to go. There were almost 40 women due in December!! And 3 women with my same due date - eek! Hopefully we don't all go into labor at the same time because then I'll have competition for the jacuzzi tub. DH & I started preparing the "hospital bag" (even though we're not going to the hospital and it's actually a box) and we've collected a few items at home in case we end up with a precipitous labor and can't get out the door in time.
*11/06: My roomie from NYC is in town and we hang out, grab lunch, get manicures, and eat tasty brownies, chatting about her new guy, careers, family, and the new bundle on its way. So good to catch up & have a girl day!
*11/07: Prenatal interview with pediatrician - went so well!! I loved their generally approach, their flexibility, their sick care policy, their in-house lactation consultant, and just the personality of the office. The waiting rooms are so plain but I don't mind having to pack extra toys so such a great mathc. They get a lot of patients from my birth center so they're familiar with it and are happy to have us come in after the birth.
Maternity Ward tour at Back Up Hospital: The good news is that much of what we want, like baby being put immediately on mom, delayed cord cutting, at least an hour of skin to skin bonding before examinations, etc are standard. The not so great news: a c-section rate of 40% that my tour guide didn't have much of an explanation for. I really feel like we made the right choice in going with a birth center and if we do need to transfer to the hospital, I know we will have given the natural course everything we have.
*11/10: My last 2 weeker appt at the birth center - next time, we start having weeklies. The midwife we saw was a sub, which if I had known, I would have requested some one else since we're running out of appts and still haven't met everyone - I'd rather not go into labor with a total stranger. She's really experienced but it wasn't the best personality match - no worries though, she's never on call at the BC. Everything still looks great - baby's still head down, "really low!" and I'm growing right on track. I only gained 1 lb in 2 weeks but since that's the first time I've been under, nothing to worry about. We talked about what foods to prepare for the birth meal - we're supposed to bring a meal for the whole team!!
*11/13: I hosted my first "moms & moms-to-be" gathering @ our place! I had invited 2 other expecting moms and 5 new/young moms. I was the only pregnant one who ended up coming but the other 4 moms who came with their babies seemed to really enjoy being able to get together & chat about new motherhood. The babies were so cute! And it was a good preview for me & DH to have all this baby commotion around the house - our changing table got broken in 4 times! Each one took a turn at crying, laughing, eating, and playing. The 10 month old hadn't spent any time around younger babies before so when the 3 month old was crying & crying, the older one let out a big sympathy yell too! It was a lot of fun - I hope to make it a quasi-regular thing. Maybe share the occasional prayer, plenty of snacks, and just relaxing with other moms.
*11/24: The uber pregnant Thanksgiving: G & I went to a friends' place, they're also expecting with DDs just a month apart from ours; we brought our other friends who made for the 3rd expecting couple at the table. Thanksgiving was tasty with full turkey, plenty of great sides, and a big dessert selection. My contributions were from my aunt's recipes mostly: cranberry bread, banana bread, orange muffins, and my dad's mashed potatoes. I took a little lay down between courses - had back pain & all. H & I spent the next day in bed doing nothing, because I had spent much of the week preparing and was exhausted. It was so nice!
*11/26: home visit with birth assistant: we chose a wonderful woman as our birth assistant who just really is a calming, reassuring presence, and I feel so at ease when she's around. She came to our place to help make sure we had everything ready to go (I had reached 37 weeks that day!) and gave us a little homework for the last pieces. We had prepared lunch for her - red bean curry & rice with some Thanksgiving breads left over and an appetizer of cheese stuffed mushrooms. She suggested a few comfort things for us to prepare - rice socks, witch hazel soaked pads, heating pad, etc.
*11/28 - 12/02: in a big work training during my 37th week of pregnancy; first two days were alright then came Wednesday:
*11/30: BIG Day!! First, H & I had the green card interview, for which we had thoroughly prepared. We got there plenty early, waited in the freezing cold wind for 20+ minutes. The interviewer wasn't too chatty, just checking all the boxes she needed to, but did crack a smile or two during the interview. We had come prepared with an entire binder of documents, anything we thought they might want to see plus a lot of "supportive" documents that attest to our marriage but 95% of it was unnecessary. I guess walking into the interview 8.5 months pregnant answers most of their questions. She sent us off saying we'd get the green card within 2 weeks! We were happy, of course - H's status was all sorted out before baby's arrival.
H & I went to grab a quick lunch before heading into the city for the rest of our work day when major contractions started! I was suddenly nauseous, felt strange cramping, was hot and was having this huge contraction across my belly. We pull over, breathe through it and call the midwife. She says, maybe this is it, maybe not, but go home, go for a walk, take a bath, take a nap. Call back if it's still happening. Well, I contracted for the whole afternoon, missed my training, and timed the contractions but they were irregular and weren't getting closer together. So by evening, we called again, gave a heads up to the midwife & she said this happens, and can go on for weeks so go to sleep early tonight and carry on with your day as usual tomorrow as you can. So, I went back to work and had contractions on & off for the rest of the training. Some moments were really hard but generally, I'm glad I finished the training.
*12/1: 37.5 week appt with midwives - still contracting, still having hot flashes, back pain, the whole deal. MW says I sound like a woman in labor. I thought that meant maybe baby's coming soon but I didn't want to waste another day waiting at home for contractions to get more serious so we went into the city for the group dinner with my training.
12/5: 38 week appt; MW says I've grown 2 cms in the past 4 days & I had gained 4 pounds! G had noticed new stretch marks too so it really was a huge growth spurt! MW said she couldn't confirm the head's position so sent us for an immediate ultrasound to make sure the baby's head down. If not, we had to work on getting baby turned asap. I had been feeling really nauseous that morning and was feeling too sick to drive but we had no other choice, so we went and maybe a stop where H could buy me saltines & preztels. They helped a little but I still felt horrible. We slowly made it to the ultrasound place, where I threw up and they confirmed baby's in the perfect position, had the right amount of fluid, all organs are working as they should, and baby's estimated to be 8 lbs 3 oz!! In the meantime, that 1.5 weeks of contractions had me with 0 dilation and a completely closed cervix. So big baby, not necessarily coming anytime soon.
12/12: 39 week & hopefully the last MW appt! Everything continues to look good but MW tells us it would be good if the baby came on time because it seems like a big one so she discusses evening primrose oil & other natural ways to encourage labor to get moving. We pick up a couple last items and everything was good until I got the worst phone ever in which I get chewed out for a number of things that the practice has known about for weeks but only decided was a problem on that day, when I'm 39 weeks, 2 days pregnant! Needless to say, I was upset and about ready to write the practice off entirely. Thankfully, G took charge and told me to just worry about carrying the baby around, he'd handle the rest and he has! We spent the next 1.5 days frantically addressing all their complaints and now we're ready to go with the birth we want.
