Q&A: How Many Kids Should We Have?

We're debating trying to have another child... what should we think about when adding to the family?
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ByThe Bump Editors
Updated
Jun 2017
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Most important: No matter how much you prepare and  discuss and analyze, things don’t always go as planned. But, whatever happens, know that you’ll learn to love whatever family you end up with. That said, here are a few things to think about as you consider another addition.

The Only Child
Stat: 17 percent of couples have just one.
Pro: Easier on the wallet (and easier to indulge just one child), and more one-on-one time.
Con: No siblings to bond with (or entertain each other when you just need a break). And, it can be psychologically distressing — all your time and energy goes into that one child, which can pile on the pressure.

Two for Two
Stat: 35 percent of couples choose two.
Pro: The perfect 1950s sitcom standard. No worries about only-child or middle-child syndrome. Plus, you’ve already started raising one — why waste the skill set?

Triple Threat
Stat: 20 percent of couples opt for three.
Pro: More help with household chores… and more support for each of your kids, now and far into the future.
Con: Middle-child syndrome (one parent bonds closest with one kids, one parent with another, and the last child feels left out) can be an issue. Space becomes a problem, and restaurant tables are hard to find.

Caravan of Kids
Stat: 15 percent of couples have four kids or more.
Pro: Older siblings can mentor younger ones. Higher probability of getting that coveted girl or boy.
Con: Tough to pay attention to this many… let alone pay. The average college education is over $100K — you do the math. And, you and your partner are way outnumbered.

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