Real Moms on the 9 Motherhood Milestones Worth Celebrating in Year One

It might have been around the 20th day of my daughter’s life when she first started smiling (albeit in her sleep). But that’s not the moment that made my Instagram grid that day. That honor went to a non-descript image of my car seat fully covered with a muslin blanket—a commemoration of a trio of much more significant firsts: My first Covid shot, my first time driving solo with baby and my first unassisted shower with a newborn in the room next door.

Most parents are familiar with the major baby milestones to watch for in their little one’s first 12 months. But baby isn’t the only one making major progress in this transformative year. “Some of the bigger milestones for mothers are the first time you take baby out for a walk alone, or leave baby with another trusted caregiver or have an adult conversation about something other than your child,” says Emma Basch, PsyD, a clinical psychologist specializing in perinatal mental health in Washington DC. “You’ll notice these milestones are all about the development of maternal confidence and identity, not about something baby did. Becoming a parent is a developmental process, so I think it’s worth celebrating the moments when we recognize that we’re growing too.”

It could be the time you work up the courage (aka the zero Fs) to breastfeed in public—or the day you make your first official mom friend. “Acknowledging these wins, big and small, can benefit your mental health significantly during a time that can otherwise feel very draining,” says Olivia Pham, LMFT, an Oklahoma-based marriage and family therapist certified in perinatal mental health. Not only do they show you what you’re truly capable of, but they also offer a glimmer of hope that this intense season of life will slowly but surely get easier.

To that end, here are some more watershed moments to look forward to checking off your list in the coming months. Congrats in advance—you’ve earned it!

Your Triumphant Return to Real Underwear

You did it! You’ve officially been caring for your new baby so long that now only one of you needs to wear diapers. For birthing parents, the day you slip out of those hospital-issued extra-absorbent undergarments and back into that sweet 100 percent cotton marks a real turning point in the postpartum journey. “It was the first moment where I felt a little bit like myself again,” says Carly C., a mom of three in Buffalo, New York. “No more mesh underwear, adult diapers or industrial-size pads. They may have just been cotton granny-panties, but they were my granny-panties! I no longer felt like a patient recovering while simultaneously keeping another human alive—but like my own person again.”

Your First Philosophical Pivot

We’re all perfect parents before we have kids. But you’re not a mom until you’ve thrown your best laid plans out the window and shifted to what actually works for you and your (real) baby. “I planned to primarily use cloth diapers, but I ended up using mostly disposable diapers for the first six or so weeks. I planned to exclusively breastfeed, but I ended up more comfortable supplementing with formula when my supply wasn’t robust. Giving myself the grace to pivot, instead of feeling like a failure, was a milestone,” says Liz S., a first-time mom in Greensboro, North Carolina. “Parenting has been a journey of learning that I can plan all I want with the very best of intentions, but ultimately whatever works best in the moment is just fine—and maybe, just maybe, the better option that I didn’t know we’d thrive with.”

Running an Errand With Baby in Tow

Getting yourself dressed. Getting baby dressed. Braving the outdoors. Strapping them into the car seat all by yourself. Keeping your eyes on the road instead of on the backseat mirror. Hauling the car seat into the store. Fending off the guy in the checkout line with his cough syrup and tissues who is standing way too close to your pristine newborn. That’s like 20 accomplishments in one! And it means that the two of you are now mobile; you’re not chained to the house anymore. You’ve rejoined the outside world. “The first errand with baby is major,” says Pham. “It adds to the feeling of competence and capability. You’re a good mom and you can do the hard things!”

Running an Errand Without Baby in Tow

Trusting someone else with your most precious person is so hard—and such an inflection point. It’s one small step out the door, but one giant leap toward reclaiming a tiny slice of you-time. “I’ve exclusively breastfed all three of my kids, so I’m literally their sole source of food, especially in those months before I can motivate myself to start pumping. So for me, a huge milestone has always been the first time I go out without baby,” says Carly C. “With my third, it was a quick run to the corner grocery store for more tortillas for Taco Tuesday. And let me tell you, the ease of only having to worry about getting yourself in and out of the car is something!”

Your First Decent Night’s Sleep

Sleeping for longer stretches is a developmental mile-marker for babies. But getting six-plus hours of shuteye—in a row—is an even more momentous moment for Mom and Dad. Susan D., a two-time mom in Epping, New Hampshire, remembers the first time her daughter slept all the way through until 5 a.m.: “I woke up startled because it was starting to get light out, and I was so confused when I looked at the clock and realized how late it was…. Once it hit me that she was okay and had just slept that long, I was so excited. I remember thinking, ‘Okay, this is the light at the end of the tunnel.”

Your First Night Out

It could be a date night or an evening with friends, but suddenly you find yourself chatting about something other than your offspring. And it’s a big deal. “One of the first big mom milestones for me wasn’t leaving baby with someone else. It was leaving without feeling anxious,” says Jackie S., a Columbia, South Carolina mom of two. “The first time I went out to dinner with a friend and wasn’t checking my phone or mentally checking in every few minutes, it felt huge. I was present, enjoying the conversation and actually having fun. It took a few tries to get there, but when I did, it felt like I was finally coming back to myself.”

Your First Long Trip With Baby

It doesn’t even have to go well. Just the fact that you attempted it says so much about how far you’ve come as a parent. “Our first road trip was a disaster,” says Indianapolis mom of two Julie C., of the supposed seven-hour drive with her baby that actually turned into a whopping 12 hours. “I didn’t realize when we left the house that my 8-month-old had a stomach bug. Cue blowouts and vomit at every stop (about once an hour) and burning through all the spare outfits in the diaper bag… Next morning, 5 a.m., who is throwing up? Yours truly. We survived, and I remember thinking, ‘Wow, if I can handle all that, I’m some kind of super mom. I’ve got this.’”

The First Sick Day

Honestly, even at home, making it through baby’s first illness is a significant rite of passage. It’s one of the moments Maryland mom, Angie S., is most proud of during her daughter’s first year: “Handling her norovirus vomiting every 20 minutes like a champ. I did not run away.” Managing all of the bodily fluids and the fear and anxiety that come with them to support your child back to health is no small feat, and you can pat yourself on the back for making it through in one piece. “Parenting is long, tiring and triggering at some points. Our brains are automatically wired to remember the negative and uncomfortable. So we have to take the wins as much as possible,” says Pham.

Surviving Your First Toddler Tantrum

Bonus points if it’s in public. “I remember my son’s first meltdown like it was yesterday! But it was a win because I felt so accomplished at how I handled it,” says Pham. “I sat on the floor with every ounce of compassion I could and said, ‘I hear you. It seems like you’re mad. I’m here for you when you’re ready for a hug.’ He did his thing, which is developmentally appropriate, and then came over for a hug.” No matter the outcome of your first brush with big feelings, you lived to tell the tale. You learned something. And you’re on the other side of it now. That alone is worth celebrating!

To Sum It Up

When you’re in the thick of it with a new baby, it can be hard to see any relief on the horizon. But you’ve already come so far and accomplished so much more than you think. An early round of applause for you, Mom. Your milestones are just getting started.

Please note: The Bump and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical or other health advice or diagnosis and should not be used as such. You should always consult with a qualified physician or health professional about your specific circumstances.