Mom guilt is no joke, especially when it comes to caring for and feeding baby. Regardless of what some may show on social media, breastfeeding is not always easy and can cause any mama to feel helpless and like she “failed.” Jade Roper Tolbert has been facing a similar feeding struggle, and last week she took to social media to open up about it.
The Bachelor In Paradise season two winner shares two kids with husband Tanner Tolbert, a 2-year-old daughter named Emerson “Emmy” Avery and a 4-month-old son named Brooks. In a picture posted to her Instagram account on Friday, Tolbert got real about the problems she’s faced while trying to feed Brooks. “Our feeding journey with Brooks has been a really hard one. We’ve dealt with dairy and soy allergies that left him crying for hours on hours from malabsorption, a lip and tongue tie we were advised not to revise (although they give him a poor latch), milk supply issues, foremilk/hindmilk imbalance. It feels like the list goes on,” she wrote in the caption.
She continued to say she was heartbroken to find out her son was in the 5th percentile during his 4-month check up. “The ped was very concerned about his weight gain. I’ve never felt more like a failure. The feelings of guilt that my baby was aching for food and nutrition, and I didn’t know it, consumed me. I knew he was a string bean (he’s tall for his age), but with how hard we work on his feedings, I guess I didn’t think he was that tiny compared to other babies his age,” she wrote.
Of course, Tolbert isn’t alone in her feelings. While breastfeeding can be incredibly difficult for any mama, those with more than one small child can often struggle to give the appropriate amount of attention to each—something Tolbert mentions in her post. “It can be hard to fully give your attention to each child sometimes when you are taking care of a baby and a toddler too,” she continued. “I feel so bad I may have been missing some cues from him I didn’t know he was showing. I’ve changed my whole diet and so many other parts of my life to make sure he is getting good feedings, so it’s just so hard to know that it’s not enough.”
She shared that their pediatrician recommended supplementation after every breastfeeding, as well as additional feedings, before calling for help from mamas who have faced a similar issue. “There’s been so many tears over here, but we are strong and working on getting this little guy some rolls. I’d do about anything in the world to help keep Brooks healthy and thriving,” she concluded. “Anyway, thanks for letting me vent, I guess I’m just hoping to know we aren’t alone in this feeding struggle.”