Babies have always been—and will always be—a point of contention at weddings. Will the wedding be kid-friendly? If not, will you find a sitter? How the heck are you supposed to pump? With all that in mind, one bride tried to address potential problems by creating a breastfeeding area for new moms at her wedding. But she actually failed miserably, because that area WAS THE BATHROOM.
Facebook page Breastfeeding Mama Talk shared a photo of the note that was included with one new mom’s invitation, who happened to be the wife of the best man.
“To all our mommies who are breastfeeding, we are sensitive to the fact you may have to breastfeed during our event, therefore we have designated an appropriate place for you to feed your baby so you do not have to do so in public in front of our Family and Friends,” the note begins. And yes, the bride italicized ‘family and friends.’ “For your convenience we are accommodating you with a comfortable and private area with chairs and baby blankets in the ladies room. We request that you use this area when you are breastfeeding. Thank you.”
In case you didn’t come to this conclusion on your own, commenters made it very clear: This is not okay.
“Petty me would ask them to set up an extra table for me in the bathroom, all nicely decorated with a centerpiece, since I'll be in there to feed the baby and don't want my food to get cold either. And then they’ll say, ‘Why that's silly, why would you want to eat in the bathroom?’ Well.... Exactly.”
“I wouldn't attend. Why would I want to be around people who don't respect me or my family? If someone doesn't want breastfeeding at a wedding, it should be made an adult-only event. If my child is with me and wants to breastfeed, she will do so freely and without restriction. There is just no way I could enjoy myself after all of this. Hubby can go and support his friend, but he'll have to do it alone.”
“How preoccupied with someone else's breastfeeding relationship do you have to be to include this ugly memo in a WEDDING INVITATION? Super weird. I would either leave both kids at home or bring baby and nurse on demand wherever I please. Who exactly made these accommodations? The venue would most likely be breaking the law.”
That last comment is correct: According to most state laws regarding breastfeeding, a woman is allowed to nurse her baby in any location, public or private, where she's authorized to be present.
The guest explains that this isn’t the first time the bride has inserted herself into her breastfeeding.
“We have had several arguments over ‘my’ breastfeeding ways and they have multiple times voiced that I need to go elsewhere to do that in ‘private!'” she says.
How would you handle the situation? Ultimately, this guest left her baby at home with a grandparent and a friend willing to wet nurse. But this bride needs to know it’s not her place to dictate a mother’s feeding relationship with her baby, regardless of the circumstance. In fact, she should take a look at some brides who breastfed at their own weddings.