Mom's School Supply Rant Offers Hilarious Perspective: Buy the Yellow Binder

"If you take these kids out of my house, I'll get you whatever you want."
ByAnisa Arsenault
Associate Editor
Published
Aug 2017
school supplies
Photo: Gett Images

Dena Blizzard has a message for parents gearing up to send their kids back to school: Buy the yellow binder.

The vlogger behind One Funny Mother went on a four-minute back-to-school rant, but it probably isn’t what you’d expect. She’s not berating the school system for requiring a laundry list of school supplies. She’s not complaining about her kids wanting every Star Wars folder and lunchbox out there. She’s asking moms to suck it up, because teachers deserve it.

“I’ve been noticing lately that when people are doing their back-to-school shopping, everybody’s complaining,” she says while pushing a shopping cart around Target. “And my thing is, listen, it is the end of August—I will give you anything to take my kids. I’ll get you a yellow binder, I’ll get you a red binder, I will tie-dye some sh*t. If you take these kids out of my house, I’ll get you whatever you want. I’m telling you right now, if there was a teacher who said ‘I need some Tide,’ I’m gonna get you some Tide. You can put whatever you want on that list.”

To prove her point, Blizzard loads up her cart with a doormat, a candle, even a microwave.

“All you people say, ‘I’m not going to pick up any Kleenex for the class.’ You can’t give that teacher a Kleenex?” she says. “These teachers have been making plans to teach your kids and you’re all complaining about some pencils?”

Blizzard also reminds her viewers that teachers provide a service that she can’t.

“I have spent hours of my life teaching my daughter math and history—I don’t know anything about history. And there’s a lady somewhere willing to teach my daughter about some history and she wants a yellow binder to do it? I’m gonna get that b*tch a yellow binder.”

Moral of the story: Send your child’s teacher a thank you note now.

“We need to be thanking some teachers. The least you could do is buy a yellow binder. And you are all up on the internet complaining about your yellow binder. Are you kidding me?”

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