Grieving Mom Pens Gut-Wrenching Letter to Tech Companies Begging Them to Stop the Baby Ads

No grief compares to losing a baby. And it’s hard enough to go through the everyday motions as is without social media constantly targeting you with pregnancy and baby ads. It’s a cruel punishment you’re left to endure on top of the already undeniable pain.

Gillian Brockell knows the feeling. After recently giving birth to her stillborn baby, the grieving woman can’t escape the endless ads and sponsored content targeting her. In a viral tweet, she writes an open letter to tech companies, including Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Experian, “regarding algorithms and my son’s birth.”

“I know you knew I was pregnant. It’s my fault, I just couldn’t resist those Instagram hashtags—#30weekspregnant, #babybump. And, stupid me!, I even clicked once or twice on the maternity-wear ads Facebook served up,” she says. “You probably saw me googling ‘holiday dress maternity plaid’ and ‘babysafe crib paint.’ And I bet Amazon even told you my due date, Jan. 24, when I created an Amazon registry.”

From bump pictures to baby shower thank yous, like most moms-to-be, Brockell has documented her pregnancy all over social media. And tech companies won’t let her forget it.

“But didn’t you also see me googling ‘is this braxton hicks?’ and ‘baby not moving,’” Brockell asks. “Did you not see the three days of silence, uncommon for a high-frequency user like me? And then the announcement with keywords like ‘heartbroken’ and ‘problem’ and ‘stillborn’ and the 200 teardrop emoticons from my friends? Is that not something you could track?”

She wants these tech companies to understand what these ads do to an already fragile person.

“Let me tell you what social media is like when you finally come home from the hospital with the emptiest arms in the world, after you’ve spent days sobbing in bed and pick up your phone for a couple of minutes of distraction before the next wail,” the journalist says.“ "It’s exactly, crushingly the same as it was when your baby was still alive.”

Some platforms have the option to stop certain ads from appearing in your newsfeed, but, as Brockell points out, it’s not full-proof.

“When we millions of broken hearted people helpfully click ‘I don’t want to see this ad,’ and even answer your why with the cruel-but-true ‘It’s not relevant to me,’ do you know what your algorithm decides” she asks. “It decides you’ve given birth, assumes a happy result and deluges you with ads for the best nursing bras…tricks to get baby to sleep through the night…and the best strollers to grow with your baby.”

She begs for them to do better for those who are grieving like herself.

“If you’re smart enough to realize that I’m pregnant, that I’ve given birth, then surely you’re smart enough to realize that my baby died, and can advertise to me accordingly. Or maybe, just maybe, not at all.”

Needless to say, Brockell’s powerful words have garnered much attention, including from many in the tech industry who are leaving notes to apologize.

Brockell’s bravery to open up about her pain has raised much-needed awareness over this algorithm glitch. While nothing will ever fill the space in your heart when you lose a child, speaking about your struggle does help to lighten the burden.

Please note: The Bump and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical or other health advice or diagnosis and should not be used as such. You should always consult with a qualified physician or health professional about your specific circumstances.