Oh, Kimye. As the world turns and we prepare for the impending arrival of your Kimbryo in July, I've got to admit something: your pregnancy comments have confused the crap out of me.
There have been so many ups and downs to your pregnancy so far, Kim. On the season finale of Kourtney and Kim Take Miami, after almost sabotaging your sister's relationship with her baby daddy, you announced you were pregnant. I laughed, I cried — I was honestly excited for you. Then, you did the unthinkable and let slip that you and Kanye West were considering naming your baby North. I felt betrayed and more than anything, confused as to why you'd pick directions on a compass to inspire baby's moniker. Aside from your tumultuous maternity fashion choices (seriously! Can't you ask Kourtney for some shopping tips or something?), I really want to be excited for your baby-to-be. Unfortunately, you're making that impossible. I can't keep up with the wacky, crazy and downright confusing comments you've made about your pregnancy so far.
But before I go any further, let it be known that I think it's totally acceptable for people to say hilarious and sometimes confusing things during their pregnancies. Your bodies are changing, your experiencing pregnancy brain, your hormones are all over — but Kim really pushes the envelope for me.
So, in the event that you want to clear any of this up for me, Kiki, here are the top 13 comments you've made so far that have me shaking my head:
“I was waiting for this amazing experience where I could just do whatever I want, eat whatever I want, feel great, and it just hasn’t been that way.” You're growing a HUMAN, Kim. Surely you don't think that the world is still all sunshine and daisies and unicorns? Sometimes it's hard! Roll with it.
"Her back hurts, her breasts hurt, her stomach hurts, her feet hurt, her head hurts, her eyes hurt, her nails hurt." Okay, fine, maybe you didn't come out and say this, but Khloe spoke for you. And seriously — your nails? Please, explain.
“I think that’s why I was anxious for awhile because people will say, your life is totally going to change and obviously you want to evolve in your life to change and it will be an amazing thing — but the way people freaked me out all the time with all their advice?" I'm all in favor of experiencing things on your own but the beginning part of this comment? What. Are. You. Trying. To. Say?
“Don’t do it! You’re so lucky. Hold onto these moments, Khloe, adopt! Surrogacy! Anything! I hate this!” Can't wait til baby West hears all the nice things you've said about her before she arrives.
"I'm not going to lie and be like, 'Oh, it's been amazing and I've adjusted great.'At the beginning it was tough for me when your body changes so much, but once you kind of grasp that and embrace it, it's amazing." If it's so amazing Kimmy then why are you telling Khloe to adopt? Riddle me that!
"I think it would be really cute because Kanye and I are both K's, but half the names on our list aren't K's." So wait, are you giving baby a K inspired name? Or are you going with North? Or Easton? GET IT STRAIGHT.
"I do like Easton, Easton West." JUST. SAY. NO. TO. COMPASS. DIRECTIONS. PLEASE.
"I've said some things that I completely am, like, a hypocrite about now. I would say things about Kourtney like, 'You cannot have a baby without being married!'" Hey, she said it — not us.
"I'm waiting for the moments when someone's like, 'Let's go to McDonald's and Taco Bell!' That's not happening for me and I'm kind of sad about it." Oh, yeah, sure.
"I'm craving carrots and celery with ranch dressing." Give me a break. You're pregnant, woman! It's okay to crave a greasy burger and fries with a side of extra cheese.
"Damn!!! I spoke too soon! My 1st pregnancy craving! #InNOut #EnjoyingEveryBite." See, what did I say?
“We buy all white. Or we’ll go and buy both [girl and boy clothing], and then no one will know!” I'd be fine with the dressing baby in all white bit, but then she had to go on and say...
"If anyone knows Kanye, they just know how into fashion he is and I think he's going to have things, like, specially made. So I don't think hand-me-downs are going to work. I think it has to be, like, just really fun stuff: chains, leather pants." What are you two doing, anyway? Auditioning baby for a role in the '50 Shades of Grey' flick? Heavens!
Have you been confused by Kim's pregnancy?