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Stephanie Grassullo
Associate Editor

Facebook Rant Shaming Parents for Morning Cup of Coffee Sparks Hilarious Response From Moms

“I'm trying to imagine parenting without coffee. It's a dark, dark place.”
PUBLISHED ON 10/03/2018

All parents have their own special hack to make their family’s weekday morning routine work. And for many, it involves coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.

So when the Facebook group Sanctimommy shared an anonymous post from a user sounding off on parents and their morning cup o’ joe, you can imagine the reaction it received.

"What is with this? Drop kids off at school, slopping your coffee—in a take-out cup, so it didn’t come from your home—all over, while you drag the poor child by the hand growling they will be late if they don’t move along... But you had to stop for that coffee? Really," the ourtaged post reads.

The coffee-hater continues the rant, saying "yes, you may have just come from work; you were up all night with sick kids; you didn’t sleep well. [There are] tons of excuses, but let’s be real here, 15 more minutes you could wait... Leave 15 minutes earlier if it is that critical you must buy coffee."

Appalled by early morning drive-through or coffee shop stop rituals, the user questions the "damaging" effects parents' coffee consumption will have on their kids.

"Yes, many need their coffee... But give me a break. What kind of example are we setting for the kids that see adults every day, adults everywhere, with a cup in their hand," the post asks.

The unidentified account shares a few final suggestion for coffee-drinkers of the world.

"You could do one better by putting that money into some good quality beans, and enjoying that first cup at home," the note advises.

The bizarre rant has elicited a hilarious response from moms, who are quick to defend their much-needed coffee intake.

One mom pokes fun, saying "sounds like she needs more coffee."

"What if, just maybe, she did manage to leave the house in plenty of time to grab coffee and be early, but plot twist, she pulls up and the kid has taken [his] socks and shoes off and dumped [his] backpack out? Hence why slow, obnoxious kid is being dragged," another perfectly points out.

"Listen, Susan, I buy take-out cups and bring my coffee from home in them. So suck it," one comment quips.

"Not just coffee. If you are going to hate me, know that it was a triple shot of Baileys and a dash of coffee. It’s why we walked. No drive-y when drink-y," a mom hysterically jokes.

"[I’ll] get my coffee when I feel like getting my coffee, and everyone else should just back away slowly until I’ve gulped down at least half a pot," a woman warns.

"Bad day to switch to decaf, lady," reads another funny response.

And one parent says it all, commenting "I'm trying to imagine parenting without coffee. It's a dark, dark place."

PHOTO: iStock