8 Things No One Will Ever Tell You About Motherhood

Motherhood is something most women aspire to. It is a rite of passage — almost what I imagine being in a sorority is like. Everyone always has amazing stories of how becoming a mommy changes them. These conversations are romanticized most of the time when overheard at baby showers. If you have ever eavesdropped a one on one confessional in the corner table at a crowded restaurant you can appreciate what I am about to share.

Since I became a mom, my life has changed for the better and for worse. It just depends on the subject matter. Here are the top eight things no one warned me about before becoming a mom.

1. You’ll feel lonely — but not in the way you think. I actually feel lonely when I sit on the toilet without anyone tugging at my legs or calling my name.

2. Say farewell to grooming yourself! Seriously. I used to get a weekly manicure, pedicure and even a wax. Now I get one monthly — if I can find a sitter. And forget about the wax!

3. A hair appointment is a sacred thing. Most think my hair is short because I prefer it that style, but honestly, I’d let them chop off all my hair if it meant I’d get to escape the kids (and get all that extra attention!) for a full hour. I might even add a conditioning treatment just to milk it a little more.

4. You’ll learn to be frugal. Before being mommy I would go shopping and spend my entire check on an outfit for one night out. Gone are the days that used to happen!

5. You’ll forget your words. My vocabulary has plummeted. I used to win spelling bees and debates. Now, I answer “mommy, why this?” questions all day.

6. You’ll stop buying heels. Hell, you’ll stop liking heels! As I grow out of my stilettos with every pregnancy, I find myself enjoying sneakers more and more. I used to walk in pain for the sake of fashion. Now I laugh at those young girls struggling to balance in their stilettos.

7. You won’t ever have to grow up. I used to think having a child would make me a grown up. Now that I have kids, I realize the value in never growing up.

8. You’ll appreciate a hot shower more than ever before! If I get to take a shower for more than 5 minutes, I consider that a spa treatment! (And trust me, that doesn’t happen too often.)

Please note: The Bump and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical or other health advice or diagnosis and should not be used as such. You should always consult with a qualified physician or health professional about your specific circumstances.