I was never the type of girl that dreamed of the day that I would be married or have children. Instead I dreamed of the day that I would be recognized for other accomplishments in my career. While I listened to my friends share the names of their future children, I was busy thinking of what countries I would travel to first or what I would say to the President when I first met him.
As time went on and I grew up, I learned an important lesson about life: you can plan all you want but nothing is certain.
As a young twenty-something I got pregnant. The pregnancy I had never planned for myself was here, and with it came severe morning sickness. I was sick all day, every day. I tried everything I could think of or read about to feel better but nothing worked. I was a hermit. What felt like eternity finally ended one month before I had my daughter. It was a brief moment of bliss. I felt like Snow White when the animals and birds are following her singing…
Fast forward 10 years and I was happily expecting my second child. This time around, I really believed that I wouldn’t be as sick because I was willing to whatever I could to stay positive and healthy. But boy, was I mistaken… I was even more sick than with my first child. I was so sick I never traveled too far from a bathroom and I would keep laundry sheets and lavender sachets in my pockets to cover my nose in public places. I could hardly watch any television without feeling — or worse! — getting sick. Fast food commercials made my stomach turn. Needless to say, it was beyond difficult for me and even harder for my daughter and my partner.
Honestly, I hated being pregnant. For some reason, pregnancy has been so glorified in our society and made out to be the best moment of your life. Of course, for so many women, it is. But for the others, like me, it’s the exact opposite. I do know women that have experienced flawless pregnancies — they didn’t gain extreme amounts of weight, they felt energetic and they enjoyed every moment and milestone without ever feeling sick. To those women: I admire you so (and envy you so!)
I love, love, love my children but I am so truly thankful I won’t be pregnant again. It just wasn’t easy for me. And for other moms who’ve struggled through their pregnancies, I hope you know you’re not alone.
Did you enjoy your pregnancy, or was it hard for you too?