Are You a Sh*tty Mom? Find Out

save article
profile picture of Shannon Guyton
By Shannon Guyton, Contributing Writer
Updated March 2, 2017
Hero Image

“Oh no, they did not just say that out loud!” said my shocked husband as I read to him from the new book _ Sh*tty Mom,_ a totally hilarious and uncensored look at some of the impossible situations we mothers find ourselves in.  We’re not talking about just the run of the mill breast milk stains and poop explosions here. For example, there are chapters called “Organized Sports Might Be Great for the Kids, but They Suck for You” and “He Wants Sex, You Want to Sew Your Legs Shut for Ten Years.”

Moms, it’s either laugh or cry sometimes, and authors Laurie Kilmartin, Karen Moline, Alicia Ybarbo and Mary Ann Zoellner choose to laugh. What a relief from all the fretting and over analyzing I’m always doing about my mama job!

How do you know if you’re a Sh*tty Mom? Answer these questions:

Did you hate kids before you had one?

Do you hate them even more now (except yours?)

When people say, “Being a mom is so exhausting,” do you think, “Not the way I do it”?

Are you willing to sacrifice some of your child’s happiness so you can sleep for another hour?

Do you ignore any pediatrician’s orders that you don’t agree with?

Does your kid have to have a fever above 100 degrees before you’ll keep him home?

If your kid does have a 100-degree fever, do you debate raising the “keep him home” fever ceiling to 101 degrees?

If you accept the premise that there are two kinds of moms at the park, “Plays with Her Children Mom” and “Texts from the Bench Mom,” then are you the latter?

If you had to choose a babysitter who:

Related Video

a)      Plays with your children but arrives late

b)      Ignores your children but arrives on time, would you choose b? (No fair saying you’d make “a” come early.)

Did becoming a mom make you realize that your own mother was worse than you thought?

If you answered yes to three or more questions, you are a Sh*tty Mom.

Let’s face it, we’ve all had Sh*tty Mom moments. Like the time I read the weather report for NY by accident and sent my LA kids to school in long sleeves and pants on a 90 degree day. Or the time I gave my daughter a piece of chocolate to get her to stop crying while I was on the phone. Or how about the time I really acted my age and in retaliation threw all my son’s DVDs in the pool he had just chucked my cell phone in? Unfortunately, I could go on and on.

If you’re ready to laugh and embrace your imperfectly perfect self in “the parenting guide for the rest of us,” you can find a copy here.

Are you a Sh_tty Mom? What’s your Sh_tty Mom moment confession?

save article

Next on Your Reading List

mother reading with baby on rocking chair in nursery room
Inchstones Is the Biggest Parenting Trend for 2024, Pinterest Says
By Wyndi Kappes
black mother holding baby at home
How Black Parents Can Avoid the Trap of Toxic Positivity
Fact Checked by G. O’Hara
21 Special Kwanzaa Gifts for All of Your Loved Ones
By Ayn-Monique Klahre
jennifer garner and her children next to a headshot of jennifer garner on the red carpet
Jennifer Garner on Why “a Little Benign Neglect” Is the Key Parenting
By Wyndi Kappes
baby tooth in child's hand
Toss or Treasure: Jake Johnson Sparks Debate on Keeping Baby's Teeth
By Wyndi Kappes
mom and baby dancing in living room
Kid's Music Ruining Your Spotify Wrapped? These Parents Can Relate
By Wyndi Kappes
36 matching family pajamas for the holidays and beyond-hero
36 Matching Family Pajamas for the Holidays and Beyond
By The Bump Editors
42 Gifts for Pregnant Women That Are Cute and Congratulatory
By Martina Garvey
hanukkah gifts hero
The Best Hanukkah Gift Ideas for Babies, Toddlers and Caregivers
By Cassie Kreitner
gratitude tablecloth for thanksgiving
The Viral Gratitude Tablecloth Tradition You Can Try This Thanksgiving
By Wyndi Kappes
friends giving pregnant woman gifts
45 Best Mom-To-Be Gifts That Celebrate Her
By Emma O'Regan-Reidy
mom talking to son
The Parenting Hack Going Viral: Mastering the 'When/Then' Reframe
By Wyndi Kappes
andy cohen and kids
Bravo’s Andy Cohen Shares His Best Piece of Parenting Advice
By Wyndi Kappes
mom and dad holding newborn baby at home
Viral Post Shares How to Raise Your First Baby Like It’s Your Third
By Wyndi Kappes
mombies dancing to raise money this halloween
Meet the “Mombies” Raising Money for Cancer Research
By Wyndi Kappes
kids trick or treating for halloween
These Are the Top 15 States for Trick-or-Treating in 2023
By Wyndi Kappes
Christmas Gifts for Grandparents Hero
36 Festive and Fun Christmas Gifts for Grandparents
By Danielle Halibey
Christmas Gifts for Parents Hero
45 Christmas Gifts for Parents on the Nice List
By Martina Garvey
New Dad Gifts-hero
The Best Gifts for New Dads to Suit Any Budget
By Emma O'Regan-Reidy
Breast Cancer Awareness Hero
14 Gifts That Give Back for Breast Cancer Awareness
By Martina Garvey
Article removed.
Article removed.
Name added. View Your List