The Only 5 Recipes You Need to Know

Seriously, don't learn any more.
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Updated March 2, 2017
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When it comes to providing dinner, dads know that take-out should be left for emergencies only (like that time you tried to clean the oven with ammonia and had to seal off the room for two days). What better way to provide for your family than by showering them with a hearty, creative meal? Of course, not all of us are blessed with creativity in the kitchen, but that doesn’t mean cooking should be out of our reach. See what the Dad Magazine Test Kitchen has cooked up for you, and surprise your family tonight!

Fact! For most of human history, recipes were passed down through an oral tradition. The first recorded instance of a written recipe was found at the ancient Egyptian city of Heliopolis—a set of glyphs engraved on the tomb of a powerful pharaoh describing a process for making sloppy joes. We hope he brought enough for Anubis!

Meat & Cheese Plate

If you can shop the cold-cuts aisle, you can have dinner! Slice up some cheddar, fan it out on a plate with hard salami, and serve with crackers for some casual hors d’oeuvres, like they do in Europe!

Grilled Steak

Just put them on the grill, at least 15 minutes per side. You don’t want to give your family E.coli, do you? Maybe make that 20. But why be picky about what goes on the grill—go with whatever meat you’ve got. Pork chops, lamb chops, mutton chops…

Baked Beans

Pretend you’re back in the Navy with this classic dish! Simply dump a can of beans in a baking dish and bake ’em. Dangerous sodium levels? More like dangerous sodi-YUM levels! Ahoy!


We know this isn’t exactly 101, but bear with us! Just buy some meat and cook it. Stir in some tomato sauce and dump it on top of some pasta that you’ve boiled for either 30 seconds or 20 minutes! Viola! That Boyardee can beat it, there’s a new sheriff in town.

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Just find a chicken and make it. Yeah, however you want! What is this, Le Cirque? Yes, the skin is supposed to be burnt. Wiseass.

Bonus Recipe: Salad
Because we know that, realistically, you need more greens in your diet than decorative parsley, so here you go. Tear apart a head of iceberg lettuce and toss it in a bowl with some carrots, tomatoes, and any other veggies you can stomach. Serve with Thousand Island dressing (not that vinaigrette crap).

Excerpted from Dad Magazine by Jaya Saxena and Matt Lubchansky. Reprinted with permission from Quirk Books.

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