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Michelle Hainer

“the Most Surprising Thing My Kid Said"

Get ready to LOL.

Whether they’re making an unintentionally amusing aside or a shockingly astute observation of the world around them, kids have a knack for saying exactly what they’re thinking—often to the surprise of their parents. Below, parents share some of the most memorable and laugh-out-loud-funny things their children have said.

“Mommy, all kids like mozzarella sticks. It’s part of our culture.” —Eme, 7

“I’ve had enough of you saying that.” —Lexi, 3, in response to mom telling her that she loves her

“Rainbows are like fireworks made with water.” —Gus, 3

“Mommy, you’re going to turn into a glass of wine.” —Will, 6

“Me and Dad are the same—we both toot!” —Avery, 4

“I’m too old to bend down and pick this up. You do it!” —Caitlin, 2

“I will never get married because I want to live with you forever.” —Gianna, 5

“Can people shrink themselves? Because if I can shrink myself, I can stay at my preschool.” —Alex, 4

“Take Olivia first. She’s just a baby—I’ve lived my life!” —Maddy, 7 (said to her mom when a thunderstorm started while she and her sister were taking a bath together)

“Who’s going to take care of us if you get arrested?” —Cecilia, 5, to the babysitter, who was doing nothing illegal (at least that Cecilia’s parents know of)

“Why did you buy me coffee cake? I’m not coughing.” —Chayce, 7

“I’m on my shell phone!” —Aaron, 5, while holding a shell up to his ear like a phone

“Stop asking me questions—you make my brain hurt.” —Parker, 4

“Dad, if I didn’t have a tongue, would it matter?” —Alison, 3

“Wow! What else can we turn into money?! Here, try my lollipop!” —Vivianna, 3 (said at the bank drive-through, after seeing her mom put a check in the tube and cash come back out)

“Santa came to our school today. He’s skinnier than I remembered.” —Zachary, 6