Why I Don’t Need a ‘Logical’ Reason to Want Another Baby

Two and done? Some assumed this mom was ready to call it quits after having twins, but to that she says, "No thanks."
ByMercedes R. Donis
September 22, 2017
family with three kids hanging out on couch.
Image: Rob & Julia Campbell

Pregnant women are like beacons for unsolicited advice. And when you’re carrying twins, that unwanted advice tends to, well, double. When I was pregnant with my now one-year-old twins, everyone had something to say about it.

Usually, I got comments along the lines of “double trouble,” or “you’ll have your hands full.” And when people found out I was expecting a boy and a girl, many congratulated me on getting it all “out of the way” in one go. Um, excuse me? As if one boy and one girl was the only acceptable sibling configuration, no more, no less.

I can tell you this past year has been the most challenging of my life. But at no point would you have heard me say that I’m done having kids. I knew early on that I wanted to have a family and be a stay-at-home mom, although I wasn’t sure how many kids I would want. Now that I’ve had two at once, I don’t think I’m ready to call it quits!

Even though I didn’t really enjoy being pregnant, I long to experience it again (hopefully next time with only one baby!). Transitioning from “me” to “mommy” has been so eye opening, and pregnancy was such an important part of all that—it seems strange not to go through it again, not to experience all that learning and all that change more than just once.

My husband is a very practical kind of guy, and as my co-parent I know he’s experienced some difficulties as we’ve adjusted to parenting two babies. I think (okay, fear) he might be done and ready to give it all he’s got to the two we have. According to him, I need some logical reasons to have another baby.

I’m not sure if my feelings are logical, but they are definitely there. In reality, I know my role as a mother has only just begun and that there’s so much to do and appreciate with the two children I have. But I still wonder what it would be like if my family went through this life-changing process again, together.

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