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Sarah Yang

The Worst Things To Say To Moms Of Preemies

As if having a premature baby isn’t tough enough, there are plenty of people who offer terrible, unsolicited advice or comments that are the exact opposite of helpful. Moms of preemies share the remarks that made them go, “Ugh.”

“My friend was trying to describe to her daughter-in-law how my son looked in the hospital. She said, ‘It's like, he didn't even look human! You know what I mean?’ I was so hurt.” — urbanflowerpot

“I had a lot of people think I was going overboard with washing my hands and using hand sanitizer, but I don’t think they know just how vulnerable preemies are.” —_ RachieB

 “’They are in the best place for them (the hospital)’ was one saying I hated. I knew they were trying to be supportive, but it felt like a kick in the gut.” — Nataliemay_

“I’m sure every mom of a preemie has heard these three statements: ‘She’ll be home before you know it,’ ‘Oh, she’s so tiny’ and ‘Enjoy your sleep while you can! People say them to make you feel better, but they didn’t have that effect’”— damabo80

“The worst comments I got were about how ‘lucky’ I was to not have to worry about losing a lot of pregnancy weight and to not have to experience the last, uncomfortable stages of pregnancy.” —_ BostonKisses2_

“People told me, ‘At least you can sleep.’ Not only could I not sleep because I was up all night worrying and pumping breastmilk, but how on Earth does that make me feel better when my son is in the hospital?” — lemen99

“I had someone say, ‘It must be nice to have a nurse one-on-one. It’s like you have a babysitter 24/7.’ The nurses were amazing, but I didn’t think of the medical professionals who spent most of my time with my son as babysitters. Also, it wasn’t like I was going anywhere, I was always at the hospital.” — katie 4253

“I’ve heard, ‘Wow, he actually looks like a regular baby.’ What did you think I’d given birth to? An alien?”— jjilly7

“My sister-in-law asked if he was mentally handicapped less than 24 hours after I gave birth nine weeks early.” — _Eiriksmom _

“I hated it when my son was in the NICU during the first few days and some family members would say they were mad that we wouldn’t let them come and visit.” — jenmikw

“My dad always says the next time he says my son, he’ll be ‘normal.’ I don’t even know what to say to that, he is normal, he’s just small.” — lilstar2009

“Even if you believe everything happens for a reason, it’s a very painful thing to hear. No mother can fathom a reason for their own child's suffering. Instead, people should say something like, ‘I’m thinking about you.’” — kaylaaimee

Plus, more from The Bump:

New Mom Survival Guide

Are Preemies More Likely to Get RSV?

Does My Preemie Need to Eat More Food Than Other Babies?