There is certainly something magical about those first weeks with a new baby, but what the shiny Instagram posts and nostalgic photos often don’t show is that it can also be incredibly challenging, with long nights and stressful days. While the phrase “You’ll miss the newborn stage” is frequently heard, one mom is pushing back against this platitude by sharing her own experience—and it’s resonating with many others.

In a now-viral post on the subreddit r/Parenting, a mom of two took to the discussion board to ask if she was alone in not missing the so-called idyllic newborn stage. “Can I please ask parents who have kids who are older this question… do you actually miss the newborn stage if you didn’t like being in it?” she wrote.

“I’m a mum of two and I love my kids, but I absolutely cannot wait for newborn time to be over,” she explained. “Once my first born was 5-6 months old, I felt like I was more able to understand a little more of what she was trying to say. But I’m back here again with my 10-week-old, who is actually way chiller than my first was, and I still am just not enjoying it as much as I thought I would have. And is it okay to just simply not enjoy this stage? I feel like so many people are just telling me ‘you’ll miss it…’ When I see pictures on my phone of my first born as a baby, I always tend to gush over the 5-6 month stage, not the newborn stage. Anyone else feel the same?”

Parents quickly responded, validating the original poster’s feelings and sharing their own stories. “Mine are 8 and 6. I rejoiced to be done with the newborn stage. It was not a good stage for me with either of them. But watching them grow and develop into their personalities is just so cool. They get cooler every day,” wrote one parent. “Not at all. It genuinely broke something inside me. I couldn’t do it again. The only thing that got me through was the mantra ‘I never have to do this part again.’ I love my son and I enjoy looking back on photos, but that was a really dark time for me,” shared another mom.

Others echoed similar sentiments, acknowledging that while they missed having a tiny baby, the stage itself was particularly tough. “Do I miss my little one being that tiny? Yes. Do I miss that stage? Absolutely not,” one parent wrote. “This right here. I miss holding my LO and carrying them around with ease. I do not miss the sleepless nights, all the feedings, etc.,” added another. “This, forever and ever. Mine are 8 and 10 and I have loved getting to know them at every stage, but I ALSO love getting to do that with a regular schedule of 8+ hours of sleep. The newborn phase is just… so much,” another parent agreed.

Among the comments, a few parents did express their love for the newborn stage, reminding everyone that each parenting experience is unique and that there’s no right or wrong way to feel. If the newborn stage isn’t your favorite, you might love toddler life or back-to-school season. Parenting comes with its own set of struggles and successes at every stage. It’s important to be present for the good times and find support during the challenging ones.

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