Funny Things Toddlers Say About Babies

Wondering what’s swirling around in their little brains when their world is turned upside down? Thanks to their brutal honesty, you don’t have to.
profile picture of Joanne Chen
ByJoanne Chen
Contributing Writer
Updated
Sep 2017
toddler playing with new baby sibling
Photo: Jade Brookbank / Getty Images

As grown-ups, we thought we were overwhelmed when a new baby arrives. But when we asked, “What’s the funniest thing you’ve heard a toddler say about a baby?” we were reminded that the insanity we feel is pretty minor compared to what a small tot is experiencing. As these hilarious responses reveal, it’s downright baffling when you haven’t the slightest idea what the deal is and where this strange tiny wailing creature came from.

Photo: Giphy

“When is its mother going to come to pick it up?” —Stephanie C.

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“Why is it so loud?” —Rebecca A.

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“When are we putting her in the garbage?” —Randi F.

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“Will she grow up to be a boy?” —Jess S.

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“Yep, that’s Kate. She has no penis and no teeth.” —Amanda P.

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“I’m taking her out because you told me to throw things away when I’m done with it.” —Bernice K.

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“I want you to put him back in your belly!” —Laura P.

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“Can we get a different one?” —Alexis B. (via Romper.com)

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“So when did you say he’s leaving?” —Joanne C.

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“Did she come out of your belly because you ate her? —Sudha R.

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“Did the baby decide if it wants to be a girl or boy yet?” —Selena (via Babygizmo.com)

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“That’s my baby brother—a lump of trouble.” —Noreen C.

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“The baby’s still here?” —Vanessa K.

Updated September 2017

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