CircleBumpCheckedFilledMedicalBookmarkBookmarkTickBookmarkAddCheckBoxCheckBoxFilled

Why This Mom Champions the Smallest (and Weirdest) Parenting Wins

“In the first few years of my daughter's life, I felt like a failure all the time.”
save article
profile picture of Nehal Aggarwal
By Nehal Aggarwal, Editor
Updated August 6, 2020
mom boss hilary frank at her weird parenting wins template
Image: Tanya Isaeva Photography
We have included third party products to help you navigate and enjoy life’s biggest moments. Purchases made through links on this page may earn us a commission.

The Bump presents #MomBoss, a series dedicated to showing off all-star moms. We catch up with mompreneurs behind products we love, influencers who get real about motherhood and SAHMs who can multitask in their sleep.

There is no parenting win too small—which Hillary Frank knows from firsthand experience. Though perhaps best known for her acclaimed podcast, The Longest Shortest Time, which discusses the surprises and absurdities of parenting, Frank is a mom first. She started her podcast in 2010, the same year her daughter was born, as a way to connect with other parents. On the show, she’s covered a variety of topics—from transgender pregnancies to working moms to birth injuries to the sex lives of parents. She’s also the author of several books, the most recent of which is Weird Parenting Wins: Bathtub Dining, Family Screams, and Other Hacks from the Parenting Trenches. The book—a hilarious and original take on parenting books—is mostly compiled of desperate but effective strategies used by real parents and caregivers.

While Frank may have ended The Longest Shortest Time, she has something new up her sleeve. We spoke with Frank to hear more about her podcast, her own weird parenting wins, her approach to balancing work and motherhood and what’s next on her career path.

What inspired your podcast?

I started The Longest Shortest Time in 2010, the year my daughter was born. I was recovering from a rough childbirth injury and had just moved to a town where I knew nobody. The podcast was a way for me to connect with other parents and feel less alone.

How did your idea for the book come to be?

In the first few years of my daughter’s life, I felt like a failure all the time. Sometimes that was because I felt judged by other moms; other times it was because the techniques I was reading in parenting books didn’t work for me. I felt like something must be wrong with me or my baby or both. But after awhile, I started to realize that certain strategies were working for me—I had just made them up myself, often in moments of sheer desperation. In 2013, I wrote a post on The Longest Shortest Time website asking other parents what worked for them. Years later, I made a more formal ask to the podcast audience… and the book was born.

Related Video

Which of your own weird parenting wins are you most proud of?

One time I stopped an argument between my daughter and her friend by quietly doing a headstand in the middle of the room. I hadn’t done one in like 20 years and I surprised both them and myself! Here’s another: Recently, I have gotten my daughter to stop stalling her bedtime routine by promising her a “booty dance” on Friday night if the week has gone well. A booty dance means that for 10 minutes she gets to choreograph a dance for me and my husband, in which we shake our booties in various embarrassing ways. There is a lot of grabbing our own butts.

What’s the one thing you wish someone told you before you became a mom?

I wish someone had told me that everyone is making it up as they go along. But most of all, I wish someone had told me about pelvic floor physical therapy. I lived with a painful birth injury for three years before I found the help I needed. I think it’s important for anyone going into childbirth to know that most pelvic injuries can be healed.

What advice do you have for new moms?

Trust your gut and be creative. If you stumble upon a strategy that works for you and your kid, go with it, even if it seems silly. Remember that kids love games, so whenever you can turn an annoying task into a game, they’ll be more likely to listen to you. And keep in mind that all kids are different, so what works for you might not work for your friend’s kid—or even for another child of yours.

Can you share anything about your new upcoming project?

Nothing is solid yet, but I’m hoping to do something on the topic of middle school. Before I started the podcast, I published three YA novels, Better Than Running at Night, The View From the Top and I Can’t Tell You and most of my reporting was about teenagers. I’m excited to return to that beat.

What’s one thing you do for yourself to help you de-stress?

Self care is a new concept for me, but ending The Longest Shortest Time was partly a way to reset and prioritize de-stressing. I’ve started running, and I sign up for races to make sure I don’t fall off the wagon. And I bought an electric shiatsu back massager to give my sore muscles some love.

Is there anything else you want to add?

Raising another human is exhausting. It’s okay to cut things out of your life that are adding to your stress so that you can be more emotionally available to your kid. I know it can be hard. But just do it and don’t feel guilty.

Published January 2020

save article
ADVERTISEMENT

Next on Your Reading List

Shonda Rhimes attends the 2020 Vanity Fair Oscar Party hosted by Radhika Jones at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on February 09, 2020 in Beverly Hills, California.
Shonda Rhimes Shares the Secret Behind How She Does It All
By Wyndi Kappes
gabrielle union and dwyane wade smiling with their daughter
Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade Champion Community at Home and Work
By Ashlee Neuman
nicky hilton at the 2022 vanity fair oscar party
Nicky Hilton Rothschild Celebrates New Collaboration With Daughters
By Nehal Aggarwal
ADVERTISEMENT
headshot of eva chen
Eva Chen Talks Pregnancy, Parenting and Why She Wrote Her Latest Book
By Lauren Kay
Portrait of co-founder and mom boss of Melissa and Doug, Melissa Bernstein.
Melissa & Doug Co-Founder on Making Toys and Overcoming Depression
By Nehal Aggarwal
mom boss and author eve rodsky
Eve Rodsky on Fair Play and How Moms Can Reclaim Their Time and Space
By Nehal Aggarwal
mom boss and author eve rodsky
Eve Rodsky on Fair Play and How Moms Can Reclaim Their Time and Space
By Nehal Aggarwal
ADVERTISEMENT
mother cuddling and kissing baby
How to Emotionally Prepare to Go Back to Work After Parental Leave
By Marygrace Taylor
The Back-to-Work Guide for New Moms
The Back-to-Work Guide for New Moms
By Erin van Vuuren
certified pre loved snoo from happiest baby
How to Save Almost 50 Percent Off the Cult-Fave SNOO Smart Sleeper
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
pregnant actress Uzo Aduba arrives for the 76th Tony Awards at the United Palace in New York City on June 11, 2023
Orange Is the New Black's Uzo Aduba Welcomes Her First Daughter
By Wyndi Kappes
snoo smart sleeper bassinet on sale rental 2022
How to Save Big on SNOO During Happiest Baby's Best Sale of the Year
By Wyndi Kappes
pregnant woman holding a christmas present
These Maternity Cyber Week Sales Are Can’t Miss
By Emma O'Regan-Reidy
ADVERTISEMENT
Carlos and Alexa Penavega on Wednesday, September 6, 2023 on TODAY show season 72
Alexa PenaVega and Carlos PenaVega Are Expecting Baby No. 4
By Wyndi Kappes
winter themed gift boxes
10 Great Gifts for Kids on Oprah's Favorite Things List
By Wyndi Kappes
andy cohen and kids
Bravo’s Andy Cohen Shares His Best Piece of Parenting Advice
By Wyndi Kappes
mockingbird high chair
Mockingbird Launches New 2-in-1 High Chair With One-of-a-Kind Features
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
mombies dancing to raise money this halloween
Meet the “Mombies” Raising Money for Cancer Research
By Wyndi Kappes
H&M and sophie the giraffe collaboration
Sophie La Girafe Partners With H&M on First-Ever Fashion Collection
By Wyndi Kappes
mom and young girl dressed up for halloween while shopping on laptop
The Best Baby, Kid and Family Sales to Shop Over Halloween Weekend
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
Article removed.
Article removed.
Name added. View Your List