How Does She Do It All? Well, She Doesn’t

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By Shannon Guyton, Contributing Writer
Updated May 4, 2017
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Image: Robert Daly / Getty Images

I came across a post by Liz over at Mom-101 about  the myth of “doing it all”, and with the demands of all the roles I play: mom, wife, employee, daughter, friend, neighbor, Girl Scout leader, football team mom, I often get the same question as Liz: “How do you do it?” If I’ve ever given the impression that I have things under control, I apologize! There is no one super mom who can handle everything with 100% thoroughness, and anyone who acts like they do (and makes the rest of us feel like crap) has a scary closet somewhere, I promise.

Here’s my liberating list of what I don’t do and what I choose to do instead:


  • Clean up the house every day. Or every other day. Or once a week. Just this weekend I panicked when a friend asked to go inside to use the bathroom. “Be careful in there!!!” I yelled.
  • Cook. I take about every kitchen shortcut possible. My favorite cookbook is called Desperation Dinners. Enough said.
  • Wash my car (or the dog) nearly enough.
  • Wash out my humidifier or the inside of my sonic toothbrush until there’s an entire eco system growing.
  • Tell my husband I miss him and plan a monthly date night to reconnect.
  • Talk to my friends on the phone. But I text them frequently.
  • Offer to host play dates or sleepovers.
  • Put away my clean clothes.
  • Work out regularly.
  • Wear makeup on most days.
  • Wrap presents nicely or remember to include gift receipts.


  • Make sure we all eat together and talk about our day.
  • Snuggle and read to the kids every night.
  • Volunteer the kids’ school. I volunteer once at the beginning of the year to get the lay of the class, and I do attend most school performances.
  • Give my dog tons of kisses every day and keep the car’s guts safely serviced.
  • Brush my teeth every day.
  • Snuggle with my husband.
  • Attend every doctor’s appointment. But I don’t organize them and let my husband know when he needs to cover one.
  • Know who my kids are friends with and why they like them.
  • Have clean clothes.
  • Go for family hikes or take the kids swimming.
  • Spend 30 minutes a day reading.
  • Wash my face.
  • Remember birthdays and put thought into the presents I buy.

I don’t do it all, but I do a whole lot. And for me, I’m there for what matters most.

What things do you not do to make room for the most important stuff?

Please note: The Bump and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical or other health advice or diagnosis and should not be used as such. You should always consult with a qualified physician or health professional about your specific circumstances.

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