How Does She Do It All? Well, She Doesn’t

ByShannon Guyton
Contributing Writer
May 4, 2017
superhero mom standing on balcony with red cape
Image: Robert Daly / Getty Images

I came across a post by Liz over at Mom-101 about  the myth of “doing it all”, and with the demands of all the roles I play: mom, wife, employee, daughter, friend, neighbor, Girl Scout leader, football team mom, I often get the same question as Liz: “How do you do it?” If I’ve ever given the impression that I have things under control, I apologize! There is no one super mom who can handle everything with 100% thoroughness, and anyone who acts like they do (and makes the rest of us feel like crap) has a scary closet somewhere, I promise.

Here’s my liberating list of what I don’t do and what I choose to do instead:


  • Clean up the house every day. Or every other day. Or once a week. Just this weekend I panicked when a friend asked to go inside to use the bathroom. “Be careful in there!!!” I yelled.
  • Cook. I take about every kitchen shortcut possible. My favorite cookbook is called Desperation Dinners. Enough said.
  • Wash my car (or the dog) nearly enough.
  • Wash out my humidifier or the inside of my sonic toothbrush until there’s an entire eco system growing.
  • Tell my husband I miss him and plan a monthly date night to reconnect.
  • Talk to my friends on the phone. But I text them frequently.
  • Offer to host play dates or sleepovers.
  • Put away my clean clothes.
  • Work out regularly.
  • Wear makeup on most days.
  • Wrap presents nicely or remember to include gift receipts.


  • Make sure we all eat together and talk about our day.
  • Snuggle and read to the kids every night.
  • Volunteer the kids’ school. I volunteer once at the beginning of the year to get the lay of the class, and I do attend most school performances.
  • Give my dog tons of kisses every day and keep the car’s guts safely serviced.
  • Brush my teeth every day.
  • Snuggle with my husband.
  • Attend every doctor’s appointment. But I don’t organize them and let my husband know when he needs to cover one.
  • Know who my kids are friends with and why they like them.
  • Have clean clothes.
  • Go for family hikes or take the kids swimming.
  • Spend 30 minutes a day reading.
  • Wash my face.
  • Remember birthdays and put thought into the presents I buy.

I don’t do it all, but I do a whole lot. And for me, I’m there for what matters most.

What things do you not do to make room for the most important stuff?

Related Video
Busy mom entertains her young children at home with a stuffed animal pig.

Mom-Founded Brand Is Setting Up a PTO Fund to Help Moms Take Time Off

profile picture of Nehal Aggarwal
Nehal Aggarwal
Associate Editor
woman's hand holding healing crystal

Best Healing Crystals for Postpartum Moms

profile picture of Stephanie Grassullo
Stephanie Grassullo
Associate Editor
children in front of television

Parents Less Likely to Enforce Screen Time When Stressed, Study Says

profile picture of Nehal Aggarwal
Nehal Aggarwal
Associate Editor
children in classroom with their hands raised

The Toll of Racism’s Toxic Stress on Black Americans

profile picture of Jennifer Keitt
Jennifer Keitt
Human Behavior Consultant
happy, calm pregnant woman smiling outside

Best Meditation Apps for New and Expectant Moms

profile picture of Holly Pevzner
Holly Pevzner
Contributing Writer
Article removed.