I came across a post by Liz over at Mom-101 about the myth of “doing it all”, and with the demands of all the roles I play: mom, wife, employee, daughter, friend, neighbor, Girl Scout leader, football team mom, I often get the same question as Liz: “How do you do it?” If I’ve ever given the impression that I have things under control, I apologize! There is no one super mom who can handle everything with 100% thoroughness, and anyone who acts like they do (and makes the rest of us feel like crap) has a scary closet somewhere, I promise.
Here’s my liberating list of what I don’t do and what I choose to do instead:
I DON’T
- Clean up the house every day. Or every other day. Or once a week. Just this weekend I panicked when a friend asked to go inside to use the bathroom. “Be careful in there!!!” I yelled.
- Cook. I take about every kitchen shortcut possible. My favorite cookbook is called Desperation Dinners. Enough said.
- Wash my car (or the dog) nearly enough.
- Wash out my humidifier or the inside of my sonic toothbrush until there’s an entire eco system growing.
- Tell my husband I miss him and plan a monthly date night to reconnect.
- Talk to my friends on the phone. But I text them frequently.
- Offer to host play dates or sleepovers.
- Put away my clean clothes.
- Work out regularly.
- Wear makeup on most days.
- Wrap presents nicely or remember to include gift receipts.
I DO
- Make sure we all eat together and talk about our day.
- Snuggle and read to the kids every night.
- Volunteer the kids’ school. I volunteer once at the beginning of the year to get the lay of the class, and I do attend most school performances.
- Give my dog tons of kisses every day and keep the car’s guts safely serviced.
- Brush my teeth every day.
- Snuggle with my husband.
- Attend every doctor’s appointment. But I don’t organize them and let my husband know when he needs to cover one.
- Know who my kids are friends with and why they like them.
- Have clean clothes.
- Go for family hikes or take the kids swimming.
- Spend 30 minutes a day reading.
- Wash my face.
- Remember birthdays and put thought into the presents I buy.
I don’t do it all, but I do a whole lot. And for me, I’m there for what matters most.
What things do you not do to make room for the most important stuff?
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