“No Child of Mine Will Ever…”
“No male child of mine will ever wear skinny jeans. No guy should wear skinny jeans — nobody wants to see your kibbles and bits all jammed up like that. Gross!” — allisonmarie22
“They’ll never run around a huge department store because I’m too busy to watch them.” —_ Eliesc2_
“Play video games before homework!” — Natalie&Mark
“My child will never lag behind me while keep walking because I’m too lazy to carry them or hold their hand. I hate it when parents do this! How easy would it be for someone to snatch your child?” — EmmaRJ
“No baby or child of mine will ever accompany my husband and me to a very loud, very late concert because we couldn’t get a sitter. We were at a concert once and this couple was sitting right in front of the speaker — their baby cried all night and they didn’t leave until the second encore!” — apollonia10
“She’ll never be subject to participate in a beauty pageant of any kind! It’s child abuse!” — Liz_Moss
“No child of mine will ever run around in a restaurant. I hate that! Not only is it annoying to the other diners but it’s dangerous!” — mscandyman
“No child of mine will ever go a single day without hearing how loved they are.” — AmKaSaw
“I will not let my children walk around without shoes… or with dried, dirty snot all over their face — or fresh snot for that matter.” — LB1988
“I’ll never put a leash on my kid.” — JDO
“I will never let my child dictate what we eat for dinner. I cook and she either eats what we eat or she doesn’t. No separate meals. I am not a diner.” — mcbenny
“Sodas. My kids will not be the one with the Dr. Pepper in their lunch boxes.” —_ J+MS_
“This is all very comical to me… I will never say never.” —_ wife1014_
Plus, more from The Bump:
