CircleBumpCheckedFilledMedicalBookmarkBookmarkTickBookmarkAddCheckBoxCheckBoxFilled

8 Weird (and Slightly Inappropriate) Toddler Books

Looking for some new bedtime reads? You might want to leave these on the store shelves.
save article
profile picture of Leah Rocketto
Updated March 2, 2017
Hero Image
8 slides
1

Monsters Eat Whiny Children by Bruce Eric Kaplan

This book tries to teach children that they shouldn’t whine, because a monster will eat them (uh, a little scary for this age group!). On top of that, the message gets lost when the children manage to escape before mealtime. $11, Amazon.com

2

All My Friends Are Dead by Avery Monsen and Jory John

Grown-ups who read this story find it hysterical, but to a toddler hearing the moral of this story (that your friends always leave you), it is too disturbing. $10, Amazon.com

3

It Hurts When I Poop by Howard J. Bennett

Books are a great go-to tool for potty training. Yet none seem to be as graphic (and gross) as this too-long tale that describes how food turns into number two. We get that it’s written for kids getting over constipation, but once he’s on the mend, don’t you want him to know that it _doesn’t _hurt to poop? $9, BarnesandNoble.com

4

The Berenstain Bears and the Bully by Stan and Jan Berenstain

The Berenstain Bears have taught many valuable lessons over the years, like don’t eat too much candy or bite your nails. But the furry family misses the mark when they tell kids that punching a bully is okay. $5, BarnesandNoble.com

5

The Gashlycrumb Tinies by Edward Gorey

Teach kids the alphabet while scaring the heck out of them! Each letter represents a child who met their death in some morbid way, including assaults by bears, rotting away and being thrown out of a sleigh. $8, Amazon.com

6

I’d Really Like to Eat a Child by Sylviane Donnio

Cue the nightmares. This book tells kids they’re cute enough to eat. $7, BarnesandNoble.com

7

Never Smile at a Monkey by Steve Jenkins

As parents, we want to keep our kids safe from all the dangers in the world, but sometimes we forget about risks like smiling at a monkey or petting a platypus. This book will help your kids fear everything on earth. $11, Amazon.com

8

The Five Chinese Brothers by Claire Huchet Bishop

We highly encourage parents to teach their children about other cultures. However, we suggest doing so with a book that doesn’t involve murder or stereotypes. $6, Amazon.com

Plus, more from The Bump:

Top 10 Toddler Books

Best Books for Potty Training

Best Books to Read to Baby

save article
ADVERTISEMENT

Next on Your Reading List

 Ashley Graham attends The 2024 Met Gala Celebrating "Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion" at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 06, 2024 in New York City.
Ashley Graham Releases New Book of Positive Affirmations for Kids
By Wyndi Kappes
lgbtq-childrens-books-HERO
18 Great LGBTQ+ Children’s Books for Babies, Toddlers and Preschoolers
By Brittany Murlas
Best Personalized Children's Books-hero
Best Personalized Books for Kids, Reviewed by a Mom of Four
By Korin Miller
ADVERTISEMENT
Julie Andrews and her daughter Emma Walton Hamilton on BuzzFeed's "AM To DM" on October 15, 2019 in New York City
Julie Andrews and Her Daughter Pen New Children's Book
By Wyndi Kappes
Best Photo Storage Hero
The 9 Best Photo Storage Services for Parents’ Gazillion Pics
By Christin Perry
Jamie Lee Curtis takes Lindsay Lohan's hands as she talks to her during an after party at the Annex following the premiere of the Disney film Freaky Friday August 4, 2003 in Hollywood, CA
See the Adorable Baby Gift Jamie Lee Curtis Sent Lindsay Lohan
By Wyndi Kappes
mother holding a book with baby photos
The 20 Best Baby Memory Books for Marking All Their Milestones
By Martina Garvey
ADVERTISEMENT
couple reading a parenting book at home
The Best Parenting Books to Help You Raise Your Child
By Danielle Halibey
Matthew McConaughey and family attend the 2019 Texas Medal Of Arts Awards at the Long Center for the Performing Arts on February 27, 2019 in Austin, Texas.
Matthew McConaughey Shares the Idea Behind His First Children's Book
By Wyndi Kappes
Amanda Kloots attends the World Premiere of Netflix's "Your Place Or Mine" at Regency Village Theatre on February 02, 2023 in Los Angeles, California
Amanda Kloots Pens Children’s Book About Bedtime Rituals With Her Son
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
dolly parton and billy the kid dog
Dolly Parton Pens Children's Book About Her God-Dog Billy the Kid
By Wyndi Kappes
jessica alba's family christmas photo
Jessica Alba Captures the Relatable Stress of Holiday Family Photos
By Wyndi Kappes
grandma reading children's book quotes to her grandson
35 Best Children’s Book Quotes: the New, Old, Beloved and Hilarious
By Rose Walano
ADVERTISEMENT
happy mom holds her baby son and tickles his hand, outside in garden
Nikon Is Offering Free Online Photography Classes Through December
By Darcy Strobel
newborn baby holding hands with its parents
The Best Cameras to Capture Professional-Looking Photos of Your Kids
By Michelle Rose Sulcov
dad reading a book to his child
These Are Amazon's Picks for the Best Children's Books of 2020 (So Far)
By Nehal Aggarwal
baby laying with big orange cat
Cute Photos of Cats and Babies Sure to Steal Your Heart
By The Bump Editors
ADVERTISEMENT
lupita nyong'o publishes a children's book to help girls of color see their beauty
Lupita Nyong’o’s New Kids' Book Inspires Girls to Love Their Dark Skin
By Nehal Aggarwal
parents entertain hyper children in their kitchen while cooking
Hit Parenting Book 'Go the F*ck to Sleep' Is Getting a Sequel
By Laurie Ulster
artifact uprising releases customizable baby board book
These Personalized Board Books Disguise Learning by Using Family Stories
By Stephanie Grassullo
ADVERTISEMENT
Article removed.
Article removed.
Name added. View Your List