8 Weird (and Slightly Inappropriate) Toddler Books

Looking for some new bedtime reads? You might want to leave these on the store shelves.
ByLeah Rocketto
Mar 2017
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Monsters Eat Whiny Children by Bruce Eric Kaplan

This book tries to teach children that they shouldn’t whine, because a monster will eat them (uh, a little scary for this age group!). On top of that, the message gets lost when the children manage to escape before mealtime. $11, Amazon.com


All My Friends Are Dead by Avery Monsen and Jory John

Grown-ups who read this story find it hysterical, but to a toddler hearing the moral of this story (that your friends always leave you), it is too disturbing. $10, Amazon.com


It Hurts When I Poop by Howard J. Bennett

Books are a great go-to tool for potty training. Yet none seem to be as graphic (and gross) as this too-long tale that describes how food turns into number two. We get that it’s written for kids getting over constipation, but once he’s on the mend, don’t you want him to know that it _doesn’t _hurt to poop? $9, BarnesandNoble.com


The Berenstain Bears and the Bully by Stan and Jan Berenstain

The Berenstain Bears have taught many valuable lessons over the years, like don’t eat too much candy or bite your nails. But the furry family misses the mark when they tell kids that punching a bully is okay. $5, BarnesandNoble.com


The Gashlycrumb Tinies by Edward Gorey

Teach kids the alphabet while scaring the heck out of them! Each letter represents a child who met their death in some morbid way, including assaults by bears, rotting away and being thrown out of a sleigh. $8, Amazon.com


I’d Really Like to Eat a Child by Sylviane Donnio

Cue the nightmares. This book tells kids they’re cute enough to eat. $7, BarnesandNoble.com


Never Smile at a Monkey by Steve Jenkins

As parents, we want to keep our kids safe from all the dangers in the world, but sometimes we forget about risks like smiling at a monkey or petting a platypus. This book will help your kids fear everything on earth. $11, Amazon.com


The Five Chinese Brothers by Claire Huchet Bishop

We highly encourage parents to teach their children about other cultures. However, we suggest doing so with a book that doesn’t involve murder or stereotypes. $6, Amazon.com

Plus, more from The Bump:

Top 10 Toddler Books

Best Books for Potty Training

Best Books to Read to Baby

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