8 Weird (and Slightly Inappropriate) Toddler Books

Looking for some new bedtime reads? You might want to leave these on the store shelves.
Save article
ByLeah Rocketto
Mar 2017
Hero Image
8 slides

Monsters Eat Whiny Children by Bruce Eric Kaplan

This book tries to teach children that they shouldn’t whine, because a monster will eat them (uh, a little scary for this age group!). On top of that, the message gets lost when the children manage to escape before mealtime. $11, Amazon.com


All My Friends Are Dead by Avery Monsen and Jory John

Grown-ups who read this story find it hysterical, but to a toddler hearing the moral of this story (that your friends always leave you), it is too disturbing. $10, Amazon.com


It Hurts When I Poop by Howard J. Bennett

Books are a great go-to tool for potty training. Yet none seem to be as graphic (and gross) as this too-long tale that describes how food turns into number two. We get that it’s written for kids getting over constipation, but once he’s on the mend, don’t you want him to know that it _doesn’t _hurt to poop? $9, BarnesandNoble.com


The Berenstain Bears and the Bully by Stan and Jan Berenstain

The Berenstain Bears have taught many valuable lessons over the years, like don’t eat too much candy or bite your nails. But the furry family misses the mark when they tell kids that punching a bully is okay. $5, BarnesandNoble.com


The Gashlycrumb Tinies by Edward Gorey

Teach kids the alphabet while scaring the heck out of them! Each letter represents a child who met their death in some morbid way, including assaults by bears, rotting away and being thrown out of a sleigh. $8, Amazon.com


I’d Really Like to Eat a Child by Sylviane Donnio

Cue the nightmares. This book tells kids they’re cute enough to eat. $7, BarnesandNoble.com


Never Smile at a Monkey by Steve Jenkins

As parents, we want to keep our kids safe from all the dangers in the world, but sometimes we forget about risks like smiling at a monkey or petting a platypus. This book will help your kids fear everything on earth. $11, Amazon.com


The Five Chinese Brothers by Claire Huchet Bishop

We highly encourage parents to teach their children about other cultures. However, we suggest doing so with a book that doesn’t involve murder or stereotypes. $6, Amazon.com

Plus, more from The Bump:

Top 10 Toddler Books

Best Books for Potty Training

Best Books to Read to Baby

Related Video
Save article

Nikon Is Offering Free Online Photography Classes Through December

Darcy Strobel
Senior Visuals Editor

The Best Cameras to Capture Professional-Looking Photos of Your Kids

Michelle Rose Sulcov
Lifestyle Portrait Photographer

14 Great LGBTQ+ Children’s Books for Babies, Toddlers and Preschoolers

Brittany Murlas
Founder and CEO of Little Feminist

These Are Amazon's Picks for the Best Children's Books of 2020 (So Far)

Nehal Aggarwal
Associate Editor

Lupita Nyong’o’s New Kids' Book Inspires Girls to Love Their Dark Skin

Nehal Aggarwal
Associate Editor

Hit Parenting Book 'Go the F*ck to Sleep' Is Getting a Sequel

Laurie Ulster
Contributing Writer

These Personalized Board Books Disguise Learning by Using Family Stories

Stephanie Grassullo
Associate Editor

This Crib Sheet Will Help You Score Breathtaking Photos of Your Newborn

Stephanie Grassullo
Associate Editor
Article removed.