Beyonce Reveals How Miscarriages Changed Her Definition of Success

“Having miscarriages taught me that I had to mother myself before I could be a mother to someone else.”
ByNehal Aggarwal
Associate Editor
Published
Dec 2019
beyonce on stage performing
Photo: Kevin Winter / Getty Images

Being a mom can be one of the hardest, yet most rewarding jobs in the world. Any mom can tell you that—including the idolized Beyonce Knowles-Carter.

In a recent interview for Elle’s January 2020 issue, the singer-songwriter answered questions fans sent through social media and email. In her answers, she discusses how motherhood has changed her perception of success. She also reveals that she suffered several miscarriages before she gave birth to her first child, daughter Blue Ivy. When a fan asked if she was disappointed after not winning a Grammy for Lemonade (her sixth studio album), Queen Bey thoughtfully replied, “I began to search for deeper meaning when life began to teach me lessons I didn’t know I needed. Success looks different to me now. I learned that all pain and loss is in fact a gift. Having miscarriages taught me that I had to mother myself before I could be a mother to someone else.”

Knowles-Carter first opened up about her experience in 2013 in her HBO documentary Life Is But a Dream. Now, she’s a big advocate for self-care. In another of her answers, she wrote, “Women “have been conditioned to ignore symptoms and just ‘tough it out’ and focus on taking care of everyone else before themselves. I am no longer one of those people. After having a difficult pregnancy, I took a year to focus on my health. I have researched information on homeopathic medicines. I don’t just put any prescription in my body. My diet is important, and I use tools like acupuncture, meditation, visualization, and breathing exercises.”

Part of that self-care? Being kind to her body and accepting it for what it is. “Children and maturity have taught me to value myself beyond my physical appearance and really understand that I am more than enough no matter what stage I’m at in life,” Knowles-Carter wrote. “Giving zero [f—ks] is the most liberating place to be. Also knowing true beauty is something you cannot see.”

While Queen Bey has a lot of sage advice to share for moms who may be struggling to deal with their new role, she also admits she continues to face her own set of challenges when it comes to balancing work and motherhood—something she recognizes may be true for any working mom. “I think the most stressful thing for me is balancing work and life. Making sure I am present for my kids—dropping Blue off at school, taking Rumi and Sir to their activities, making time for date nights with my husband, and being home in time to have dinner with my family—all while running a company can be challenging,” she wrote.

But, in spite of all the challenges she’s overcome and the lessons she’s learned, of all her roles, what’s the one she’s most proud of? “Being Blue, Rumi, and Sir’s mom.”

Early Pregnancy Loss Often Triggers Post-Traumatic Stress, Study Finds

Nehal Aggarwal
Associate Editor
Published
01/15/2020

Survey Shows Too Many Women Feel Responsible for Miscarriage

Anisa Arsenault
Associate Editor
Published
04/25/2018

After Miscarriages, James Van Der Beek and Wife Are Expecting Baby #6

Nehal Aggarwal
Associate Editor
Published
10/08/2019

James Van Der Beek and Wife Suffer Another Miscarriage

Nehal Aggarwal
Associate Editor
Published
11/19/2019

This Garden Is a Sanctuary for Families Who've Lost a Child

Anisa Arsenault
Associate Editor
Published
12/28/2017

Watch This Tear-Jerking Rainbow Baby Reaction

Anisa Arsenault
Associate Editor
Published
12/20/2017

Autoimmune Disease and Miscarriage?

Jackie Gutmann, MD, reproductive endocrinologist, Reproductive Medicine Associates of Philadelphia
Fertility Specialist

Photographer Explains What It's Like to Document a Newborn's Final Hours of Life

Christine Cordova
Associate Social Editor
Published
07/13/2017

Yeast Infection Drug During Pregnancy Draws Concern From FDA

Anisa Arsenault
Associate Editor
Published
04/27/2016

New Law Offers Parents in the UK Bereavement Leave for Stillborn Babies

Stephanie Grassullo
Associate Editor
Published
09/19/2018

Australian Study Finds a Possible Cause of Stillbirth

Anisa Arsenault
Associate Editor
Published
09/19/2017

This Woman's Stillbirth Warns Against At-Home Fetal Doppler Systems

Anisa Arsenault
Associate Editor
Published
06/30/2017