Beyonce Reveals How Miscarriages Changed Her Definition of Success

“Having miscarriages taught me that I had to mother myself before I could be a mother to someone else.”
ByNehal Aggarwal
Associate Editor
Published
Dec 2019
beyonce on stage performing
Photo: Kevin Winter / Getty Images

Being a mom can be one of the hardest, yet most rewarding jobs in the world. Any mom can tell you that—including the idolized Beyonce Knowles-Carter.

In a recent interview for Elle’s January 2020 issue, the singer-songwriter answered questions fans sent through social media and email. In her answers, she discusses how motherhood has changed her perception of success. She also reveals that she suffered several miscarriages before she gave birth to her first child, daughter Blue Ivy. When a fan asked if she was disappointed after not winning a Grammy for Lemonade (her sixth studio album), Queen Bey thoughtfully replied, “I began to search for deeper meaning when life began to teach me lessons I didn’t know I needed. Success looks different to me now. I learned that all pain and loss is in fact a gift. Having miscarriages taught me that I had to mother myself before I could be a mother to someone else.”

Knowles-Carter first opened up about her experience in 2013 in her HBO documentary Life Is But a Dream. Now, she’s a big advocate for self-care. In another of her answers, she wrote, “Women “have been conditioned to ignore symptoms and just ‘tough it out’ and focus on taking care of everyone else before themselves. I am no longer one of those people. After having a difficult pregnancy, I took a year to focus on my health. I have researched information on homeopathic medicines. I don’t just put any prescription in my body. My diet is important, and I use tools like acupuncture, meditation, visualization, and breathing exercises.”

Part of that self-care? Being kind to her body and accepting it for what it is. “Children and maturity have taught me to value myself beyond my physical appearance and really understand that I am more than enough no matter what stage I’m at in life,” Knowles-Carter wrote. “Giving zero [f—ks] is the most liberating place to be. Also knowing true beauty is something you cannot see.”

While Queen Bey has a lot of sage advice to share for moms who may be struggling to deal with their new role, she also admits she continues to face her own set of challenges when it comes to balancing work and motherhood—something she recognizes may be true for any working mom. “I think the most stressful thing for me is balancing work and life. Making sure I am present for my kids—dropping Blue off at school, taking Rumi and Sir to their activities, making time for date nights with my husband, and being home in time to have dinner with my family—all while running a company can be challenging,” she wrote.

But, in spite of all the challenges she’s overcome and the lessons she’s learned, of all her roles, what’s the one she’s most proud of? “Being Blue, Rumi, and Sir’s mom.”

Women Share the Best and Worst Things Said to Them After Miscarriage

Ashley Edwards Walker
Contributing Writer
Published
10/08/2019

'This Is Us' Creator Explains the Importance of Talking About Miscarriage

Anisa Arsenault
Associate Editor
Published
11/15/2017

Former First Lady Michelle Obama Reveals Her Struggle With Miscarriage

Stephanie Grassullo
Associate Editor
Published
11/09/2018

Walking Improves Chances of Pregnancy After Loss

Anisa Arsenault
Associate Editor
Published
05/09/2018

Breathtaking Photos Capture the Joy and Heartbreak of Having a Rainbow Baby

Stephanie Grassullo
Associate Editor
Published
08/08/2019

Mom Describes What It's Really Like to Give Birth After Suffering Loss

Stephanie Grassullo
Associate Editor
Published
09/26/2018

Dad Opens Up About Miscarriage and Loss: 'It’s Okay to Not Be Okay'

Stephanie Grassullo
Associate Editor
Published
10/17/2018

Pink Opens Up About Miscarriage at 17: ‘You Feel Like Your Body Hates You’

Stephanie Grassullo
Associate Editor
Published
04/30/2019