Maya Vander Shares How She Navigated Pregnancy After Loss of Her Son
While joyful and exciting, your first pregnancy after a loss can be anxiety-inducing, to say the least. Many parents never learn what exactly led to their pregnancy loss, and, as a result, it can be easy to play the blame game and come up with a thousand reasons to worry about your current pregnancy. This difficult journey is something Maya Vander knows all too well.
In a recent interview with People, the Selling Sunset opened up about welcoming her baby girl Emma Reign into the world just two years after the heartbreaking stillbirth of her son Mason at 38 weeks. “I didn’t know how this pregnancy would go and things obviously happen, I learned, unfortunately,” Vander said. “I decided to just keep it quiet mostly, I didn’t want to do just anything and I wanted to just make sure everything is going well and the baby’s healthy and the delivery is healthy and everything is fine before going public about it all.”
The luxury realtor noted that her pregnancy with Emma was “great” and “checked all the boxes”—she felt healthy, worked out and had few pregnancy symptoms—but despite all these good signs, she was still hesitant.
“This pregnancy, in particular, because of my late loss last year, it was a bit more — I wouldn’t call it anxiety because I’m a pretty relaxed person — I was just a little more cautious and worried because I learned that you can lose a baby, no matter how far along you are, even if things are going the way they should be,” she said.
To prepare, Vander said she underwent “way more” monitoring throughout her pregnancy than the previous ones, giving birth to Emma after being induced at 37 weeks. “I did everything I could, the doctors did everything they could, to make sure we’re not going to have any problems again. It was helpful, having more checkups and so on,” she noted.
The now 41-year-old mother, says that people often joked that she was “always pregnant” but behind their jokes was real pain after several losses. “I was pregnant technically seven times between miscarriages and unfortunately the stillbirth,” she told People. “I knew that once I lost my son that I wanted to get pregnant as soon as I can. People think it’s crazy but again, it’s really easy to judge from the outside,” she said.
“I had a huge voice that — I think unless you experience something like that it’s very hard to explain because most people will say you’re lucky and just leave it, be okay with what you have. But it’s very hard to move on after you lost the baby, so late in pregnancy. Something was really missing,” Vander added.
“It was a big hole in my heart, which I still have that hole but I feel like with my third baby now, I just have a better experience in the hospital, a better ending and I’m happy. I wanted three kids and now it’s completed, and I’m very thankful.”
Pregnancy loss can be incredibly painful and difficult to process. If you or anyone you know has suffered a loss, read through our expert-recommended tips on how to cope and how to support a friend in the aftermath.
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