'Bonus Dad' Shares Unique Way His Fiancée's Ex-Husband Shapes His Life for the Best

“He is not an outsider, he is and will always be a part of my life for the simple fact that we share the same daughter.
ByStephanie Grassullo
Associate Editor
Published
Jan 2019

You may think it’s strange for a man and his fiancée and her ex-husband to all be on good terms with each other, but that’s just the setup for Dylan Lenox and his family. In fact, he refers to his partner’s ex-husband as a brother and best friend.

If you’re wondering how the trio got so lucky, Lenox will be quick to tell you luck has nothing to do with it. He credits their unusual but beautiful relationship to the glue that holds them all together: their daughter Willow.

In a [Facebook post](https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2328946327334943&id=100006587958571& xts %5B0%5D=68.ARD7vKxg03A68TpsTv2Y15YfahZVSz0FXqS4BCHfiGCG56cOyGvts4Au6rQAIxjq686WsUd7Je78Mx_y3bVEP22dyyAEVAAF7ZRYqKzUDIwr_ccf-H5OGVxra-rjlfGG6FN4Msfmj5mmi6YpZgaHkZxPP9a9qt-wt8oO0bt6gEMD-mE6MTD2siyvTZDaDhTcLWJpEA85XXH93Cfa& tn =-R) that has quickly gone viral, the “bonus dad,” as he refers to himself, shares the unique way his family works. It may not be traditional, but it’s built on a foundation of love.

“The guy to the left is myself—Daddy, Daddy Dylan or Bonus Dad—in the middle is of course our Princess Willow and the guy to the right is David—Daddy, Daddy David or Biological Dad,” he explains. “No, we are not a same sex couple, but we do share a daughter.”

Our kids change us in many ways. Most notably, they teach us how to love in a deeper way than we ever thought possible. And that’s exactly what’s at work here.

“We have molded ourselves into one unique family, of only for the sake of our children to know the power of love. Not only did I gain a daughter, I gained a brother and a best friend,” Lenox says.

Of course the situation isn’t the norm. Luckily, it works for the two dads and mom, but that’s not to say it’ll work for all. Maybe your divorce didn’t end on great terms, or you simply don’t see this scenario panning out so well for your family. It’s by no means the only way to make the most of family time after a split. There are a bunch of different ways to make co-parenting civil after a divorce. What matters most is you keep your kid’s needs in mind.

“When we care more about our children…than the way society has taught us to be towards exes, baby moms/dads, then walls will fall, life will be free of hatred and remorse and our children will conquer the foolish ‘norms’ that media has shoved in our faces,” Lenox says.

“[My wife’s ex] is not an outsider, he is and will always be a part of my life for the simple fact that we share the same daughter.”

Media personality Kristina Kuzmic has a similar approach to how she makes parenting after divorce work for her family. Remember, there are a million different ways to handle divorce with kids, but all that matters is you find the one that works for you.

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Emma Johnson blogs at WealthySingleMommy.com and is the host of “The Emma Johnson Show” syndicated nationwide on AM radio. She is a freelance business journalist and a single mother to Helena and Lucas. She lives in New York City and grew up in Sycamore, Ill.

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Emma Johnson blogs at WealthySingleMommy.com and is the host of “The Emma Johnson Show” syndicated nationwide on AM radio. She is a freelance business journalist and a single mother to Helena and Lucas. She lives in New York City and grew up in Sycamore, Ill.