Kimberly Van Der Beek Reflects on How 5 Miscarriages Changed Her

“I’ve noticed that a lot of countries really tell women when they’ve had a baby or a miscarriage, ‘Take time to replenish.’ But that’s not what our society has endorsed.”
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ByNehal Aggarwal
Associate Editor
Published
Oct 2020
kimberly van der beek opens up about the pain of having 5 miscarriages
Photo: Rodin Eckenroth / Getty Images

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. It’s a topic that’s still stigmatized, despite how many women go through it. In recent years, more and more celebrities have been opening up about their experiences, including Kimberly Van Der Beek.

On “The Make Down” podcast, Van Der Beek, 38, opened up about the toll having five miscarriages took on her. “I understand that I am very blessed to be able to birth five children. I’ve also had five miscarriages, two of which were really hard experiences,” she said. “It has changed my day-to-day quite a bit, because I’m in very much a healing mode right now.”

Van Der Beek shares Olivia, 10, Joshuya, 8, Annabel, 6, and Emilia, 4, with husband and actor James Van Der Beek. The couple experienced a miscarriage in November 2019 and then again in June 2020.

"The last two miscarriages, they’ve been really extreme. The one in November, it was losing a ton of blood, losing consciousness over and over again and feeling like, 'Am I going to die?” she said, adding that she has been “really tender” with herself during the healing process.

“I’ve noticed that a lot of countries really tell women when they’ve had a baby or a miscarriage, ‘Take time to replenish.’ But that’s not what our society has endorsed,” she explained, adding that in America women are often lauded for being “superwoman” and “doing it all without help.”

“What I’ve learned is to let all of that go,” Van Der Beek continued. “So right now I’m awake with the kids but then I go back to sleep. I have a little extra help. I made myself a little meditation corner and I’m taking a course on tea ceremony to learn how to relax into my body. It’s been very great for my kids too, because they’re learning different ways of being by learning different ways of being."

While the couple is open to growing their family in the future, Van Der Beek says she needs to feel good in her body before that can happen. “The possibility is there, if my body agrees to it. I do not take birth control—big surprise!” she said. “But I need to feel really good in my body if I’m going to explore that option. And right now, I’m not there.”

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