Are You a ‘Mom in the Trenches?’ Viral TikTok Points to 4 Clues

If you have at least one pound of unidentified crumbs in your car? You might be a mom in the trenches.
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By Wyndi Kappes, Associate Editor
Published May 7, 2024
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Image: Natalia Lebedinskaia | Shutterstock

The debate around Mother’s Day is once again swirling around on social media. As the day approaches and families consider their plans, the conversation around “who should we celebrate” inevitably comes up. Should grandmothers still hold the spotlight, or should it shift to new mothers navigating early parenthood? An oft-mentioned notion arises: celebrating the “moms in the trenches.” But just who are the moms in the trenches?

That’s the question TikTok user @CrayGardens sought to answer in her now-viral video. In it, she points to four (pretty spot-on and hilarious) clues that can help you identify if you or someone you love is a mom in the trenches. “We seem to be having some confusion over which moms qualify as ‘in the trenches,’ so I’m here to momsplain it to you,” she jokes.

“If you’ve managed a bodily fluid from your child at least once this calendar year, you are in the trenches,” she notes. Secondly, “Go check out that mom van, and if you have at least one pound of unidentified crumbs, you are in the trenches.”

Thirdly, “Might be a hot take but if you don’t consider animals children because you know you could potentially leave your puppy alone for an hour in its crate and you wouldn’t get arrested. You are in the trenches.” Finally, she jokes, “The lingering thought of any mother in the trenches, if you are constantly worried about screwing them [your kids] up in the present tense, as in you are actively screwing them up in this moment as in ‘today, I will replay all the way I screwed them up’” you are in, in fact, the trenches.

If you don’t meet this criteria, you probably aren’t in the trenches, and that’s not a bad thing; just might mean the focus of Mother’s Day needs to be on someone else this year. “Congratulations, you made it out. How is it? How is your pinot grigio at 6pm just cause you can,” she jokes.

If you are looking for different ways to celebrate the mom you know in the trenches this year, consider giving her the day off, getting her a special gift or just taking over all the chores for the day. Sometimes it’s the smallest things that mean the most!

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