Shay Mitchell Gets Real About Mom Shaming and Guilt as a New Mom

“It surprised me that people chose to be so reactive and aggressive and assume the absolute worst about us—and more so me.”
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Published November 7, 2019
pregnant actress shay mitchell
Image: David Livingston / Getty Images

Motherhood is challenging—beautiful, immensely emotional and incredibly joyous, but also difficult. Most new moms are already exhausted from baby’s feeding schedule, diaper changes and sleep schedule, but they’re also often dealing with bouts of mom guilt. The anxious feelings can be hard to overcome and they affect almost every new mom—even actress Shay Mitchell.

In a recent interview with Vogue magazine, Mitchell admitted that she’s still getting used to her role as a new mom. “I got three hours of sleep last night, so it was a good one,” she joked in the interview. The actress welcomed her daughter, Atlas, last month after spending 33 hours in labor.

While she has reprioritized her work schedule and cut back in order to be fully present and enjoy the new moments of motherhood, she still falls prey to the same self-doubt and mom guilt that affects moms everywhere. “There is a lot of stress and anxiety. I’d heard all these things from my friends saying, ‘You’re going to second guess a lot of things you do, you’re going to feel guilty when you leave her,’’ she told Vogue. “[It’s been all about] just taking the time to get ready and be by myself to [say] ‘Okay cool, now I can handle this, I’ve got this, so many people have done this before me, and so many people have felt the same way.’”

Of course, that guilt hasn’t been made any easier by the mommy shamers she’s had to deal with on social media, Mitchell said in the interview. A few weeks ago, she and her boyfriend, Matte Babel, made their first public appearance since becoming parents. They stepped out for an hour and a half to attend Drake’s 33rd birthday party, Mitchell told Vogue, adding that she was surprised by the backlash she got.

“It concerns me that people are so quick to pass judgment on others, especially without knowing any facts, and behind the protection of the screen,” she said. “It surprised me that people chose to be so reactive and aggressive and assume the absolute worst about us—and more so me.”

But she added that she wasn’t going to let the shamers get to her. “I wish people would stop jumping to extreme conclusions about things that aren’t their business, but Matte and I just choose to ignore it because we couldn’t be happier right now,” she said in the interview. “For me, I’m going to do exactly what I feel is right for my family.”

Please note: The Bump and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical or other health advice or diagnosis and should not be used as such. You should always consult with a qualified physician or health professional about your specific circumstances.

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