‘This Looks a Lot Like Postpartum’—What a Miscarriage Really Looks (and Feels) Like

“Let’s add it to the list of things nobody tells you about until after you experience it.”
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profile picture of Stephanie Grassullo
Associate Editor
July 30, 2019
mom shares her heartbreaking miscarriage experience
Image: Eduardo Dutra

Miscarriage hurts—physically and emotionally. And like all of those hard to discuss topics in life, most people like to avoid candid conversations about it. But it’s so important to talk about the signs, symptoms and after-effects of miscarriage not only so women aren’t entirely blindsided by the tragic events, but also so their friends and family are educated on it and can help them recuperate.

One brave mama Allison Kimmey went through a miscarriage in the past and is speaking up. Instead of keeping her feelings to herself, she’s decided to use her public platform on Instagram to share what it really looks like to experience a miscarriage. “I know this is a sensitive subject, and that’s why I want to talk about it,” she says. Sharing a photo of herself after her miscarriage, she writes “this is miscarraige. It still baffles me that this is something 1 in 4 women experience, and yet it’s not something many of us know anything about. Including myself.”

Kimmey isn’t denying that there is grief and devastation, but in addition to the emotional blow, there’s also physical pain too. “Let’s add it to the list of things nobody tells you about until after you experience it,” she comments. “It’s also painful and messy.”

One of the hardest things about having a miscarriage is when your body experiences all of the postpartum changes, but you’re robbed of taking your sweet child home with you. “To me, this looks a lot like postpartum—adult diapers, heating pads, exhaustion, releasing, healing, mourning. Because it is postpartum,” she says. “And although we don’t get to experience the benefit of having a little one to bring home, our bodies have still done miraculous and very hard things.”

“I want women to have access to real life stories, not just vague medical definitions saying you might be a little uncomfortable and wear a pad,” she urges. “This is natural. It is not your fault. And you don’t need to feel ashamed.”

Check out Kimmey’s Instagram for more on her miscarriage and how she overcame it. The mom plans to share more details all week long in hopes that she’ll help others learn and heal from her journey. Plus, hear what these celebrities have to say about what they went through after having a miscarriage.

Please note: The Bump and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical or other health advice or diagnosis and should not be used as such. You should always consult with a qualified physician or health professional about your specific circumstances.

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