CircleBumpCheckedFilledMedicalBookmarkBookmarkTickBookmarkAddCheckBoxCheckBoxFilled

45 Dad Jokes So Awful They’re Awesome

For the dads looking to embarrass their kids, make others groan with glee or just amuse themselves, we’ve got all the best dad jokes to get the LOL job done.
save article
profile picture of Carrie Anton
Published May 30, 2017
Phil Dunphy dad jokes
Image: ABC

They may make you groan, but you must admit that even corny dad jokes require a certain level of finesse. After all, dad jokes combine a level of wordplay and pun mastery that few people can pull off. And yes, part of the artistry of dad jokes is that they’re just really bad jokes, but that doesn’t mean dad jokes aren’t a rite of passage for dudes transitioning into dadhood. In fact, a man knows he’s become a welcome member of the father society when funny dad jokes (or more honestly, cheesy dad jokes) roll off the tongue with little effort.

Haven’t hit your dad jokes stride even though you’re a family man? Don’t fret. From bad dad jokes to funny dad jokes, we have all the dad jokes and one-liners you’ll need to give your kids and family a groan-worthy chuckle.

  1. When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punch line becomes apparent. —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  2. How long does it take to make butter? An echurnity! —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  3. What do you call someone who dresses up like a noodle? An impasta! —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  4. Why can’t two elephants go swimming? Because they only have one pair of trunks. —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  5. “I drew up plans for Duckingham Palace, but I can’t find them. So I guess we’ll just have to ‘wing’ it.” —Phil Dunphy, Modern Family

  6. What rhymes with orange? No it doesn’t. —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  7. Me: “Did you get a haircut?” Dad: “No, I got them all cut.” —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  8. Monica: “Okay, I’ve got a leg, three breasts and a wing.” Chandler: “How do you find clothes that fit?” —Chandler Bing, Friends

  9. When is the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty! —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  10. What do you call a person who tells dad jokes but has no kids? A faux pa. —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  11. Russ: “Dad, this tree won’t fit in our backyard.” Clark: “It’s not going in the yard, Russ. It’s going in the living room.” —Clark Griswold, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

  12. The inventor of the throat lozenge has died. There will be no coffin at his funeral. —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  13. “Sorry, I was all up in your grill about cooking yesterday.” —Bob Belcher, Bob’s Burgers

  14. A genie asked, “What’s your first wish?” Steve answered, “I wish I was rich.” And the genie said, “What’s your second wish, Rich.” —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  15. Daughter: “Daddy, why didn’t I get a sunburn?” Dad: “You can’t, honey?” Daughter: “Really?” Dad: “You can only get a daughterburn.” —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  16. Pam: “We’re hoping our interview seals the deal.” Jim: “If not, there’s always the army…the infantry.” —Jim Halpert, The Office

  17. To the guy who invented the zero… Thanks for nothing. —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  18. I told my husband I hate my haircut. He replied, “Don’t worry, it’ll grow on you.” —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  19. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt! —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  20. “Call me Delta Airlines ‘cause I can’t handle your extra baggage!” —Ned Flanders, The Simpsons

  21. What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho cheese! —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  22. My 3-year-old son said, “Put my shoes on.” I told him, “I think my feet are too big.” —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  23. “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.” —Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation

  24. I asked my dad if he could put the cat out. He replied, “I didn’t know it was on fire.” —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  25. I’ll do algebra, tackle geometry, maybe even a little calculus… But graphing is where I draw the line. —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  26. Kathy: “Wow, you have really gorgeous hair.” Chandler: “Thanks, I grow it myself.” —Chandler Bing, Friends

  27. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  28. Have you heard the joke about paper? Good that you haven’t, it’s tearable! —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  29. How much did the pirate’s new earrings cost him? A buccaneer! —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  30. Why did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut. —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  31. “It takes two to lie: one to lie and one to listen.” —Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

  32. Clark: “I’ll have a coke.” Flight attendant: “Do you want that in the can?” Clark: “No, I’ll have it right here.” —Clark Griswold, National Lampoon’s European Vacation

  33. Dad, did you get shot in the army? No, son. I only got shot in the leggy. —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  34. “Act like a parent. Talk like a peer. It’s called ‘peer-enting.’” —Phil Dunphy, Modern Family

  35. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator! —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  36. Bert: “Ernie, how do I look?” Ernie: “With your eyes, Bert.” —Ernie, Sesame Street

  37. A guy walked into a bar… And was disqualified from the limbo contest. —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  38. I used to have a job collecting leaves. I was raking it in. —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  39. Most comedians are good, trustworthy people. Yep, they’re a bunch of stand-up guys. —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  40. What’s Forrest Gump’s Gmail password? 1forrest1 —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  41. Phoebe: “Do you guys know any chicks?” Chandler: “Fowl? No. Women? No.” —Chandler Bing, Friends

  42. A nurse told me, “Sorry for the wait!” I replied, “It’s alright, I’m patient.” —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  43. Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it’s the scenter. —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

  44. “Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you’re William Hurt.” —Phil Dunphy, Modern Family

  45. What happens if a frog parks illegally? They get toad. —Submitted to Reddit Dad Jokes

save article
ADVERTISEMENT

Next on Your Reading List

Advertisement
mom bottle feeding baby while woman helps her
Real Moms Share Tips on How to Find Your Village
By Anna Davies
Rihanna attends the FENTY x PUMA sneaker launch party at NeueHouse Los Angeles on December 18, 2023 in Hollywood, California
Rihanna Says She Wants More Kids: ‘as Many as God Wants Me to Have’
By Wyndi Kappes
New Mom Gifts
The Best Gifts for New Moms to Make Her Feel Loved
By Martina Garvey
ADVERTISEMENT
leah nicole weiher and toddler daughter in hospital bed after paralyzing accident
Mom Learns to Walk Again Alongside Her Toddler After Accident
By Wyndi Kappes
serena williams holding newborn baby with husband and daughter
Serena Williams' Best Advice for Transitioning From a 1 to 2 Kid Home
By Wyndi Kappes
dad hugging mom and infant at home
First Mother’s Day Gift Ideas to Celebrate New and Expectant Moms
By Emma O'Regan-Reidy
Virtual Mother's Day Gifts-hero
Last Minute Mother’s Day Gifts That’ll Arrive Right on Time
By Martina Garvey
ADVERTISEMENT
Beyoncé and Jay-Z attend the 66th GRAMMY Awards at Crypto.com Arena on February 04, 2024 in Los Angeles, California
Beyonce's 6-Year-Old Daughter Joins Her on New Cowboy Carter Album
By Wyndi Kappes
home chef bluey meal kits
Bluey Meal Kits Debut Alongside Trailer for Special 28-Minute Episode
By Wyndi Kappes
Lindsay Lohan attends the 2024 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Radhika Jones at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on March 10, 2024 in Beverly Hills, California.
Lindsay Lohan Jokes She Has Bald Spots From Son's Hair Pulling Phase
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
Emma Stone accepts the Best Actress in a Leading Role award for "Poor Things" at the 96th Annual Oscars held at Dolby Theatre on March 10, 2024 in Los Angeles, California
Emma Stone Gives Sweet Shout Out to Her Toddler in Oscar Speech
By Wyndi Kappes
baby baptism shoes and gold cross necklace
15 Baby Baptism Gifts That Bring the Blessings
By Martina Garvey
Blake Lively attends the Michael Kors A/W 2024 fashion show during New York Fashion Week in Chelsea on February 13, 2024 in New York City.
Blake Lively Says Having Kids “Electrified” Her Nervous System
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
celebrity actress, Viola Davis with her adopted daughter, Genesis
Viola Davis Recounts Accidentally Locking Her Baby in a Car
By Wyndi Kappes
child's 5th birthday party with friends
Amid Birthday Party Fatigue One Mom Shares Her Three-Party Policy
By Wyndi Kappes
Taylor Swift and Blake Lively react prior to Super Bowl LVIII between the San Francisco 49ers and Kansas City Chiefs at Allegiant Stadium on February 11, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada
Blake Lively Says Super Bowl Was Her First Time Out Without Her Kids
By Wyndi Kappes
Tyler Perry on The Kelly Clarkson Show - Season 5 February 2024
Tyler Perry Shares His Secret to Being a Great Father to His Son
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
baby feet wrapped in pink blanket with heart
NICU Nurses Capture Baby’s First Valentine’s Day
By Wyndi Kappes
Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger attend Cleobella x Katherine Schwarzenegger event at The Coast Lounge at Palisades Villages on November 04, 2023 in Pacific Palisades, California
Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt Reveals How She Combats Mom Burnout
By Wyndi Kappes
donna kelce and family
Baby Doesn’t Get a Free Pass for Super Bowl, Donna Kelce Explains
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
Article removed.
Article removed.
Name added. View Your List