Parents Are Divided Over Chappell Roan’s Hot Take on Parenthood

Parenthood is one of those rare experiences that’s both deeply relatable and entirely individual. Even when parents face similar milestones or challenges, their feelings around them can vary wildly. There are a thousand ways to parent—and just as many ways to feel about it. That’s why a recent comment from 2024 breakout pop star Chappell Roan struck such a chord—and quickly ignited a flood of mixed reactions online.

“All of my friends who have kids are in hell. I actually don’t know anyone who’s, like, happy and has children at this age [27],” Roan said during an interview on Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy podcast. “I literally have not met anyone who’s happy, anyone who has light in their eyes, anyone who has slept.”

The bluntness of her take instantly split the internet. Some parents found her words harsh, arguing that the language didn’t reflect their own experiences or the ones they’d seen. One parent wrote, “As tired as I’ve ever been, nothing has filled my cup more than the snuggles, the giggles, and growth of my kiddos. Helping them become good and kind humans is the honor of my life and I’m a happy working mom.” Another added, “I personally don’t know anyone who lost their spark after having kids. All of them love it.” Others acknowledged that Roan had a right to her opinion but wished she’d chosen softer words, saying, “Her opinion is 100% valid but the language is harsh imo. Every path has pros/cons.”

Still, for many, Roan’s commentary felt painfully accurate. As one parent explained, “I love my kids, but hate being a mother more often than not. Two things can be true. Do I have a village? Absolutely not. Am I overtired and under supported? Absolutely.” She went on to say, “If I had the support that I needed and the village that Mothers (or birthing parents) ‘should’ have, would I feel this way? Probably not. I’m exhausted, miserable and need a break.”

In truth, many parents—even those who love their children deeply—occasionally use humor or hyperbole to express just how difficult and isolating parenting can feel. “Chappell Roan made an innocent, off-the-cuff comment, the kind we all make to our friends sometimes,” says The Bump senior editor and toddler mom Natalie Gontcharova. “Even if you’re happy you had kids, don’t you ever say ‘I’m in hell’ when things are crazy? Obviously, not all of her friends are miserable, and she knows there are joys to having kids too.”

Gontcharova adds that while Roan’s take may have been blunt and amplified by the viral nature of TikTok, it echoes a broader reality many parents face: “Moms don’t have enough support overall—from society, from their male partners, or from friends and family. Instead of continuing to feed social media outrage, let’s support the moms in our lives so we can all be a little less in hell.”

Want to make things better? Support can take many forms—from checking in on a friend who’s deep in the newborn phase to pushing for bigger changes like paid parental leave, affordable childcare and accessible mental health care. Because while parenting might always have its tough moments, it doesn’t have to feel impossible—and no one should have to go through it alone.