Viral Video Explains How Having a Parenting Safe Word Can Help

Parents are taking “safe words” out of the bedroom and into their daily routines. In a now-viral video, parenting coach Locke Haman (@lockehaman) shares a fun and practical communication strategy that can help when parenting feels overwhelming. Haman explains that, even though he and his partner know each other incredibly well, introducing safe words has elevated their communication to a new level.

“We know each other so well that we can communicate through facial expressions and just gestures. It drives our kids nuts,” Haman said. “Imagine the confusion when I’m in the middle of losing my temper and Mommy walks in and says, ‘Sassafras,’ like she’s casting a magic spell, and I just stop and walk away.”

“That’s like the holy grail of parenting,” he continued. “One, to mess with your kids, two, while deflating an explosive situation. And three, allowing your partner to save face because you use the safe word instead of yelling at them.”

In the comments parents sounded off in agreeance with Haman and shared a few of their own safe words. “It works! Key is to use it early before the escalation and you forget everything except the target in front of you,” wrote one parent. “Another chimed in: “‘Pamplemousse’ is ours,” while someone else added, “‘Pink Panther’ is ours.” A commenter summed it up: “This is such a powerful and creative way to build connection and harmony in parenting—thank you for sharing this insight!”