How My First Pride as a Parent Changed Everything

Near the end of the day of my first ever Pride, while holding my 3-month-old in my arms, I had an epiphany. I’d spent the majority of my life in the closet, hiding a part of myself due to fear of upsetting people. I never, ever wanted my son to feel that isolation.

I grew up as a closeted bisexual woman, and I didn’t come out until my mid-20s. This was due to the biphobia I experienced growing up, the homophobia in the 90s (and, let’s face it, always) and the imposter syndrome I had after marrying my husband in 2013. I felt like an outsider in the LGBTQ+ community, because if I married a man, I’m not truly queer, right? (At least, that’s what a small voice inside my head told me.)

But when I became a parent, everything changed. I experienced postpartum depression, and after rebuilding myself slowly through therapy, I decided it was time to finally embrace my long-ignored identity. I wanted to go to Pride, I wanted to go with my son—and I was excited to celebrate being bisexual for the first time.

I’m not alone here. Other LGBTQ+ parents also say that having kids helped them feel at home in their identity. “I didn’t know what nonbinary [was] until friends of mine started talking about it. I [thought], ‘Oh! That’s me. Oh, that’s cool!’ And that was me at 41,” says Adi, a trans nonbinary parent of a 6-year-old in London. They add that pregnancy made the feeling more intense. “The whole pregnancy, I [was] realizing that I don’t identify as any sort of woman. That’s the most important component of my identity as a parent—my queer identity.”

Parents who’ve hid their identity their whole lives see attending Pride with their kids as a chance to explore a side of themselves that’s been neglected. For me, it was a chance to embrace all the parts of me, at a time when I didn’t feel like myself in the throes of new parenthood. Bathing in the queer joy of it all and talking to other LGBTQ+ parents can really make a difference.

“I come to Pride events,” Adi says, “[and] I can put my guard down—put it aside for just a few minutes.”

Of course, going to Pride with our kids isn’t just for our fulfillment—it gives little ones an important opportunity to learn and explore. “It was very important for me to normalize to my kid that there are a lot of different types of families,” says Adi.

What’s more, at kid-friendly Pride events, you can find activities like crafts and LGBTQ±themed storytimes that can help children learn about different identities. My son was just a baby at our first Pride, but I distinctly remember the drag queen storytime we went to: I still read Prince & Knight, one of the books they read to him at bedtime seven years later. Subverting traditional fairy tales, it’s about a romance between a prince and a knight.

I grew up in the closet, but that doesn’t mean my son has to—and that extends beyond sexuality. Whether or not he grows up queer, I want him to be raised in love and know that he’s free to be who he wants to be. That’s what Pride is all about.

Celebrating Pride with our children not only helps us embrace ourselves, but shows our children a more complete and beautiful picture of the world. It also teaches them to be full of love and pride in their own identity—and that’s the most special lesson of all.

How We Developed This Article

Attending Pride festivities as a parent can be a special experience to share with your kids. We spoke with two LGBTQ+ parents about their Pride celebrations with children in tow, and the author explored her own experience.

After editing, this article was vetted through fact-check. Learn more about how we ensure the accuracy of our content through our editorial and medical review process.

About the author: Sarah Rawlings is a writer, creative producer, video editor and content director. Attending Pride with her son has helped her feel more confident in celebrating her identity as a bisexual woman—and show him that he’s free to be who he wants to be.