How to Set Healthy Screen-Time Boundaries That Work for Your Family

Parenting young children is not a task for the faint of heart. There are very few breaks, no days off and even “vacation time” can get pretty hectic. It’s no surprise that many modern parents turn to screens when they need a break to get something done or need to calm their kids down. If you’re cueing up your toddler’s favorite TV show on the iPad to avoid a meltdown in the middle of a busy restaurant, you’re far from alone. Sometimes it’s the only way for parents to eat their dinner in peace or get tasks checked off the to-do list. As pitterpatter129, a community member on The Bump shares, her toddler watches more TV than she would like, but it’s the only way to get through feedings with her newborn. “We’ll start to limit more when I’m not nursing all day long,” she says.

While there isn’t anything inherently wrong with allowing your kids to have some screen time every day, experts do have plenty to say about healthy screen-time use for young children. There are official guidelines from organizations like the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), but, realistically, they can be hard to enforce. The key? Striking a chord that works for your family situation. “Screen time has a place in a child’s life, but it needs to be used appropriately and as part of a balanced lifestyle,” says Dina DiMaggio, MD, a pediatrician on staff at Pediatric Associates of NYC. But what exactly does this look like? Read on to learn more about the official recommendations for screen time for babies, toddlers and kids.

What Are the Screen Time Recommendations by Age?

This topic continues to be researched and, as we learn more, guidelines evolve. In any case, it really depends on how old your child is. “While screen time recommendations vary depending on who you ask, they also vary by age,” says Rachel Kowert, PhD, a research psychologist and digital media expert at Nurture. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends the following screen time guidelines:

• For babies: Minimal exposure or complete avoidance for kids under 18 months, aside from quick video calls with loved ones
• For toddlers: Occasionally use starting at 18 months, up to a maximum of one hour of daily educational programming for kids ages 2 to 5 to be watched with a parent
• Screen time for school-aged kids: Continuous and consistent daily limits for screen time, ensuring it doesn’t interfere with schooling, physical play, social interaction, family life and sleep

“As kids get older the AAP shifts to a more flexible approach and, instead of a hard time limit, suggests families create personalized plans that balance screen use with sleep, physical activity and non-screen based play,” Kowert explains. The goal is to help older children and teenagers create healthy relationships with screens. (Let’s face it, most adults could sometimes benefits from a healthier relationship with screen times!). These AAP guidelines utilize something called the 5 C’s based on the child, the content, ways to calm down, what the media is “crowding out” and communication. In a nutshell, it advises parents to set their own limitations based on their child as an individual, the type of content they consume, ways they unwind and how screen time affects other important aspects of their family life. The AAP also recommends frequent, ongoing communication around media to help teach kids digital literacy, emphasizing the quality of digital media over quantity.

What counts as screen time?

Screen time is defined as the time a child spends sitting in front of a screen or device, like a computer, TV, tablet, mobile gaming system, game console or smartphone, Kowert says—and in today’s world, screens are everywhere. “Reading this article counts as screen time. Doing schoolwork on a computer counts as screen time. Even creative tasks like making digital art would count as screen time,” she adds. “With so many aspects of daily life now taking place through screens, it’s becoming increasingly important to focus on the quality of screen time rather than just the amount…each [digital activity] serves a different purpose and isn’t inherently ‘negative’ just because it happens on a screen.”

How much screen time are kids actually getting?

Studies show the average American toddler gets around two hours of daily screen time. However, this can vary widely between families, as the study also found some 6-month-old babies were exposed to a little over an hour of screen time, while others have over three hours of exposure. Another study found that 40 percent of American children have their own tablet by the age of 2. “It’s hard to generalize considering how different every single family is,” says Titania Jordan, chief parent officer of Bark Technologies. “Some families don’t allow any, while others allow a few hours. What most of us as parents can admit to is that it’s probably too much and we need to dial it back.”

Why Should Screen Time Be Limited for Kids?

Research has found that screen time for kids under 4 years old may be related to delays in communication and problem-solving skills, as well as lead to issues in social-emotional development, anxiety and depression. Plus, experts note that the more time kids are sitting down with screens, the less they’re outside, being active, playing in nature and observing the world around them. This may impact overall development and lead to rising obesity rates in kids, something the CDC says is already occurring.

Moreover, screen time can disrupt sleep due to blue light exposure, which can suppress the production of melatonin, the hormone that helps us get shut eye. “It can strain your eyes, neck and shoulders, and it can take the place of an ever important experience in childhood: boredom,” Kowert says. “While the things we do on our screens are certainly fun, boredom is a powerful source of creativity and self-discovery, and we want to make sure to leave room for that.”

While some countries have taken their own measures around screen time—Singapore has banned and heavily restricted screen time for young children—the reality is that screens are a part of modern-day childhood. In fact, having family movie nights and watching TV shows with siblings can become fond childhood memories. So how can parents toe the line and help children establish digital literacy? Experts break it down below.

How to Set Screen Time Boundaries For Your Family

With all the guidance (and mixed information) on screen time out there, it can be tough to figure out when and how to rein it in. But this doesn’t mean you need to go “cold turkey” and unplug your whole family. According to DiMaggio, “Children should have a set amount of time to use media, and there should be media-free zones, as well as media-free times instituted.” The key thing to understand here is that this will look different for every family—and that’s okay. “There’s a lot of prescriptive advice out there about setting boundaries around screens, but every family is different, every child is different and every situation is different,” Kowert says. Here, tips on how to establish healthy guidelines for your family.

Think about the C’s

Instead of “setting hard and fast universal rules,” Kowert suggests parents think about content, context and communication when it comes to limiting screen time. For content, ask yourself questions like whether a program or game is developmentally appropriate, age-appropriate and meaningful. For context, ask whether they’re learning something new, being creative or whether you as the caregiver just need a break. “All of these are valid,” Kowert explains. “Understanding why a child is engaging with screens often matters more than what they’re watching or playing.” Lastly, ensure you’re communicating with your child and keeping an open dialogue about screens and how they consume digital content. “Help them navigate online spaces safely, make thoughtful choices and better understand family boundaries,” she adds.

Take advantage of parental controls

Most devices come with built-in parental controls for kids so you can actively limit their exposure to content that may be inappropriate; Jordan recommends using these as they best suit your family. You may also have access to data and patterns to help you understand how much screen time your child gets, how it changes over time and what circumstances have led to those changes.

Create and fill out a “tech contract”

It may seem silly to have your preschooler sign a “tech contract,” Jordan notes, but this is really more for your entire family to sync on the rules, expectations and schedules for screen time (this includes you!). Create parameters around the content your littles can and cannot watch, when (i.e. under the watchful eye of a caregiver) and where.

Model the behavior you want to see

If your child sees you constantly on your phone, they’ll have a harder time understanding why they can’t also be on their devices all the time. Of course, adults have quite a few more responsibilities than the average toddler, but it’s important to carve out family time that’s screen-free every day. “This is definitely a challenge when you have to make dinner and get younger kids ready for bed all while answering work emails, but try to set down your device during dinner, when possible,” Jordan suggests. You may also carve out some screen-free moments during bath time, story time, breakfast on the weekends and more. Find the balance that feels right for you.

Swap screens for real-world activities

You’re probably already doing this, but ensure your child is getting plenty of time doing activities like playing outside, reading books and crafting. “Children have been just fine without screens for thousands of years—they’ll be okay without constant technology (despite what they may tell you),” Jordan says. Of course, you may need the screen time on rainy days or to get other priorities accomplished—and that’s okay too. Remember, the goal here isn’t to completely eliminate screen time or deem it as “bad”—it’s simply to find a healthy balance.

The conversation around screen time is challenging because of how prevalent screens are in our society—not to mention that modern-day parents are busier than ever. “We’ve talked about the limits that pediatricians recommend, but life doesn’t make things easy,” Jordan says. “There will be days where everything is hard, and your child will have more screen time than usual—that’s okay!” The important thing is to be thoughtful about how your family uses screens. That’ll help you set realistic boundaries that feel right for you.

Please note: The Bump and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical or other health advice or diagnosis and should not be used as such. You should always consult with a qualified physician or health professional about your specific circumstances.