8 Types of New Dads
1. The Helicopter Dad
Your guy hovers and hovers hard when it comes to doctor appointments, dirty diapers (and what’s inside them) and check-ins with the nanny. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you; it’s just that he’s taking this whole daddy role seriously. Very seriously. He’s got a type-A personality, and he doesn’t want any mistakes on his watch.
2. The Just-One-of-the-Kids Dad
Sure, his goofy, go-with-the-flow personality is one of the reasons you fell in love him. You totally dig that he’s up for a tea party or finger painting any time, and that he’s willing to try every toy in baby’s chest to soothe her when she fusses. But if he leaves cleanup to you (and you alone!), it’s hard not to get frustrated that he gets to be Mr. Cool, while you’re stuck being Ms. Bossypants. He doesn’t want to make you the bad guy, but he just _really _loves goofing around.
3. The Chore-Happy Dad
This dad is a little freaked out and confused about his new role, so he offers to do what he knows he can — help with chores. Here’s why we love this guy: He genuinely wants to make your life easier. He’ll clean, cook, take out the trash and do anything (just short of shave your legs for you) to make life with a newborn easier. Be warned that this daddy type comes with a million questions._ “What does LATCH stand for?” “What foods are good for you while you’re breastfeeding?” “Exactly how many diapers will baby need before he weighs 10 pounds? I’m heading to the club store to buy them in mega-bulk.”_ This guy just needs a little time alone with baby (and to do his chores) so he develops some confidence and independence.
4. The All-Work-No-Play Dad
So many new daddies feel pressured to take on the “provider role” once baby arrives that they sometimes put work mode into overdrive. These kinds of dads can act like they’ve been transported back to the ’50s, where guys like Don Draper were simply responsible for putting food on the table — and keeping it there — and would never push the stroller or (gasp) take a daddy-baby yoga class. It’s not that he wouldn’t, it’s that he just doesn’t make himself available to. What do we really want to say to these dad types? Loosen up! Baby won’t be young forever and neither will you. Yes, want you to keep your job, but have some fun too.
5. The Braggy Dad
As much as we love him, this kind of doting daddy puts way too much emphasis on baby’s milestones than he does changing a poopy diaper. He’s the first to call your parents, post to Facebook, group text friends and tell strangers at the park that Baby Joey crawled at five months and already has an amazing pincer grasp. It’s not that you don’t want your guy to be proud, but he brags way too much. So unless baby’s reciting his ABC’s backwards by 11 months or moonwalking his first steps at one year, do every parent on the block a favor and tell your guy to cool it. Your baby isn’t the first to drool — and he won’t be the last.
6. The Guys’ Guy Dad
He was the high school quarterback, the basketball team captain and the starting shortstop — to him, having a baby was like adding a mini-first baseman to the team. From the moment you found out you were pregnant, friends and family have been gifting you with a steady supply of sports jerseys and stuffed footballs, soccer balls and baseballs for baby (and daddy!) to play with. He even bought himself a personalized beer stein that says “Dad” and picked up a mini-recliner for baby so he and baby could watch the games together. Baby’s nursery looks more like a holding pen for Yankees memorabilia than for a newborn. All we’ve got to say is, we hope baby ends up loving sports as much as dad!
7. The Scaredy-Cat Dad
This guy is a really, really good dad, but he’s terrified of being alone with baby. If you have a nail appointment or a dinner with a girlfriend, he calls his mom to come over. And when you’ve got to do a grocery run, he casually suggests you take baby along. Newsflash, dad: You won’t break the baby. We promise.
8. The Accident-Prone Dad
All jokes aside, this daddy type gets a serious A for effort. He wakes up early on the weekends, hoping to give you a few extra hours of (much needed!) sleep, but when he goes to feed baby, he ends up spilling your pumped milk because he didn’t put the nipple on tight enough. He volunteers to handle midnight diaper changes but doesn’t secure the diaper tightly, which means pretty much everything in the crib has to be tossed in the washer. Sometimes you’ve got to wonder who’s taking care of whom.
Which dad types have we missed? Tell us below in the comments!
Plus, More from The Bump: