CircleBumpCheckedFilledMedicalBookmarkBookmarkTickBookmarkAddCheckBoxCheckBoxFilled

Infant Etiquette

Here's the lowdown on infant etiquette. Pass this along to your friends.
save article
profile picture of Erin van Vuuren
Updated March 5, 2018
Hero Image
Image: Lumina Images

We totally understand your dilemma. You’re an old pro at thank-you notes, are a gracious host and have mastered the art of the introduction…but do you know how to treat a newborn? To get your infant interaction etiquette up to par, consider these helpful mom tips that everyone could stand to learn from:

Don’t forget to sanitize

“Don’t touch my baby’s face/hands unless you’re going to use Purell or wash your hands right in front of me first!” —chalmette

Maybe you just washed up before entering the room. Maybe you’re a believer in the immune-boosting power of everyday germs. You know what? It doesn’t matter.

Instead: Hightail it to the nearest sink or sanitizer pump and make the new parents comfortable that you’re clean as a whistle before cuddling their new addition.

Don’t bring your toddler

“Keep your kid away from mine…snot-nosed, on-the-mouth kisses aren’t acceptable.” —jenifairies

Does your 2 year old just love babies? Yep, most of them do. But remember that infants are delicate, and toddlers can be carriers for a ton of infections—particularly if he or she attends day care or preschool.

Instead: Plan for newborn encounters and play it safe by teaching your tot a hands-off approach. You don’t want to be responsible for baby’s first cold (or mommy’s first tantrum).

Don’t criticize

“Please don’t tell me my baby is going to catch pneumonia because she doesn’t have socks on.” —Bhobbsdz

Not your baby? Then it’s not your place to make rules. Refrain from offering unsolicited parenting advice, whether family or not. Well-meant comments about clothing, how to calm tears or how to handle naptimes can easily come across as insults.

Instead: Think whatever you want. Just keep it to yourself.

Don’t guess the sex

“Don’t assume baby genders.” —ariel06

Babies look like babies. Okay, there. We said it. Seriously, it can be really tough to tell whether there’s a Sadie or a Seth in that onesie, so err on the side of caution. (No one wants to hear their little princess described as handsome or manly.)

Instead: Unless baby’s shirt is clearly labeled Mama’s Boy or Sweet Baby Girl, hold your tongue. When you have the urge to gush, go gender-neutral with something like, “What a gorgeous baby!” Cliché? Yes. But for good reason.

Don’t intrude

“If you’re a stranger, don’t touch my baby and please don’t ask to hold her!” —pamarshea

It’s not appropriate to stretch out your arms to, say, a random baby in the Target checkout line (no matter how cute). And asking permission only places the parent in a bind.

Instead: Compliment the beautiful baby and keep your hands to yourself.

Don’t be a chew toy

“Please don’t put your finger/ring/whatever in my baby’s mouth.” —seans_grl

Teething babies love to gnaw, but resist! Even if your hands are clean, the whole gumming-on-a-body-part thing is a bit too personal to try without explicit instructions from his or her parent.

Instead: Ask the parents for a toy to help soothe baby’s need to nibble.

Don’t freak out the family

“Don’t try to scare nervous new parents!” —kirbabe

Just like a pregnant woman doesn’t want to hear about your 37-hour labor, a new mom would rather not be privy to your infant meningitis scare or even your diaper rash horrors. It’s normal for a new baby to bring up old memories, but try to share only the nice ones.

Instead: Come bearing gifts, words of encouragement and maybe even dinner—but leave all scary stories at home!

Don’t snoop

“Questions like ‘Are you nursing?’ should simply not be asked.” —niki81v

A woman’s breasts are her business, and questions about feeding can seem judgmental or offensive (even if your intentions are good). In fact, parents have a ton of touchy decisions to make, so avoid any questions involving their parenting style. It makes it seem like you’re, well, questioning their parenting style.

Instead: Stem your curiosity and ask something less delicate. (Like, “Can I carry that bag for you?”)

Watch: Infant Etiquette

save article
ADVERTISEMENT

Next on Your Reading List

I Can See Your Voice guest judge Kelly Osbourne
Why Kelly Osbourne Won't Breastfeed Her Baby Despite the Mom-Shamers
By Wyndi Kappes
mother and baby touching noses, black and white image
New Book Explains Why the "Maternal Instinct" Myth Is So Damaging
By Wyndi Kappes
middle aged mother holding her toddler and kissing him on the forehead
The Stigma Around “Older Moms” Holds Fast Despite Changing Birth Trends
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
mom holding baby while doing laundry at home
Check Out This "Lazy" Mom’s Controversial Laundry Hack
By Wyndi Kappes
chrissy teigen walking and holding her daughter
Chrissy Teigen Says This Is the Number One Reason She Gets Mom-Shamed
By Nehal Aggarwal
meghan markle walking with prince harry
Meghan Markle Criticized Once Again for How She Holds Baby Archie
By Nehal Aggarwal
two young boys in shopping cart at big box store
Mom Claps Back at Man Who Shamed Her for ‘Ignoring Her Kids’ at Costco
By Nehal Aggarwal
ADVERTISEMENT
dad and young son eat at restaurant
Maryland Family Asked to Leave Restaurant Over Complaint About Son With Special Needs
By Stephanie Grassullo
hand holding starbucks coffee cup
It Is a Truth Universally Acknowledged: if You Want Unsolicited Advice, Get Pregnant
By Stephanie Grassullo
Meghan Markle and Prince Harry photographed at Archie's first public outing.
Meghan Markle Is Being Dragged by Mom Shamers for the Most Ridiculous Reason
By Stephanie Grassullo
ADVERTISEMENT
christy teigen and john legend, chrissy shuts down pregnant comment from instagram user
Chrissy Teigen Shuts Down Fan Who Asked About Her ‘Baby Bump’
By Stephanie Grassullo
prince harry plays in charity polo match, shortly after baby archie is born
Prince Harry’s Close Friend Defends the New Father From Dad Shamers
By Stephanie Grassullo
ayesha curry stands up for her 10 month old son being body shamed
People Are Actually Body Shaming Ayesha and Steph Curry’s 10-Month-Old Son
By Stephanie Grassullo
ADVERTISEMENT
amy schumer walking her baby in a stroller through the park
Amy Schumer Couldn’t Be Any More Unphased by Her Many Mom Shamers
By Stephanie Grassullo
male barista in coffee shop pouring milk into cup
Twitter Fires Back at Male Starbucks Barista Who ‘Womb-Shamed’ a Pregnant Customer
By Stephanie Grassullo
close up of mom embracing her baby
Viral Post Nails How Society Sets Moms Up for Failure
By Stephanie Grassullo
pregnant woman on a bench outside drinking coffee
What This Stranger Did to a Pregnant Woman Drinking Coffee Will Piss You Off
By Stephanie Grassullo
ADVERTISEMENT
happy mom laying down with her happy baby
You Know the Exact Type of Parent You’ll Be (Until You Have Kids)
By Stephanie Grassullo
toddler having a tantrum in the grocery store
You Break the 'Mom Code' When You Judge Someone While Their Kid Is Mid-Tantrum
By Stephanie Grassullo
Stop judging couples for wanting to have lots of kids, big families.
It’s Not Your Business if Someone Wants to Have Multiple Kids
By Stephanie Grassullo
ADVERTISEMENT
Article removed.
Article removed.
Name added. View Your List