Here's Why Being a 'Crappy Mom' Sometimes May Make You a Better Mom

“There’s always another day, another chance to wipe the slate clean.”
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ByStephanie Grassullo
Associate Editor
Oct 2018
close-up of woman writing a note
Photo: Shutterstock

Part of having kids is acknowledging you’ll have some all-star parenting days, as well as those less-than-proud moments. Nobody expects you to be perfect, and all you can do is learn from your parenting faux pas.

TV reporter and social media personality Kristen Hewitt recently gave her two cents on the topic. After a stressful day, the mother of two was pushed to her limit and unleashed her rage on her daughters.

Hewitt shares her story on Facebook to show others how being a “crappy mom” every now and then may actually make you a better mom in the long run.

“Tonight I was a crappy mom. I had a long day of physical therapy, work, grocery shopping, errands, cleaning, laundry and was beyond exhausted,” she explains. “When bedtime came, the girls wouldn’t settle… And as the evening grew later and they kept bothering me way past bedtime, I lost my temper and yelled, ‘Stop interrupting me and go to bed!’”

That particular night, Hewitt didn’t have it in her to kiss and make up, so the girls solemnly made their way up to bed, tears and all.

“I heard them sniffling as they ran to their rooms, but I had nothing left to give. No hugs or compassion. No whispered apologies. My tank was on empty and I just couldn’t get up again,” the mom admits.

Unbeknownst to the girls, mom was under a lot of stress.

“They didn’t understand the pressure of the bills; the stress of juggling deadlines; all of the work; the grief I’m still feeling from my sister-in-law’s sudden death; or the fear I’m feeling as I await news of my knee and a possible surgery.”

Like all moms who reach their breaking point, the immediate guilt which followed left a sour taste in her mouth.

"But I still felt terrible, so I wrote them these notes on equally crap-tastic Santa paper because it’s all I could find. Since their night ended so negatively, I wanted them to start tomorrow on a positive, and know they are loved.”

On the Santa paper, Hewitt jotted sweet notes to both of her daughters to remind them of how incredible they were and how much their mom loved them, despite her not-so-nice moments.

“The good thing about being a crappy mom is there’s always another day, another chance to wipe the slate clean,” she points out. “And tomorrow, I will try to be my version of a good mom. They might wear mismatched socks and have non-organic prepackaged food in their lunch boxes, but they’ll be fiercely loved. I’ll try to be more patient and no matter what happens, we’ll all be okay.”

It’s easy to get caught up in your day-to-day “mom stress.” One way to cope with all the surprises parenting throws at you is to devote a few minutes every day to a little “me” time. Check out The Bump’s suggestions on different ways you can make the most of the time to yourself.

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