SAHM Opens Up: 'I’m Never Alone but I’m Forever Lonely'

“Voice your loneliness, your isolation and unfulfillment, because it’s not your fault you feel this way.”
ByStephanie Grassullo
Associate Editor
Published
Aug 2018
mom holding baby on couch crying
Photo: Getty Images

If you’re a stay-at-home mom, you understand what it’s like to be surrounded by your kids all day, and still feel a yearning for human contact. It’s not that our kids aren’t good enough company, but, for many SAHMs, it’s the only company. And it gets lonely.

Lauara Mazza knows the feeling. In a recent Facebook post, the mom spoke from her heart, voicing the struggle of many other mothers who also spend their days home with the kids.

“I’m never alone, but I’m forever lonely. I feel so unfulfilled sometimes,” she says. “You see, stay-at-home mothers, we are never alone. I always have six hands crawling all over me. I have loud voices and demands. But I am alone, I am isolated.”

In her candid note, she describes what it’s like to miss a pre-kid life, and then cope with the guilt for even having those feelings to begin with. It’s why SAHMs don’t voice their frustrations with the world. People’s judgments play a big toll.

“We don’t talk about how tough it is. We don’t talk about how much we miss our old selves. We don’t talk about crying from frustration and locking ourselves in the bathroom. How we lost friends because we are ‘just a mum’ to them now,” she says. “And we don’t talk about needing a break. Because people think we are on a long one. Because our jobs aren’t considered real because we don’t get paid. We stay silent because of judgement and for guilt.”

No matter how much we love our kids, the much-needed “mom time” is important. Whether it’s time alone, or time with friends, SAHMs need an escape every now and then.

“It’s unfair that we get pegged as being depressed when all we really need is some time alone from our kids, and some time with our partners and friends…Your sanity and happiness deserve it… Because a happy mama is a good mama.”

The post garnered more than 1,000 likes and countless comments from other moms who can relate to the SAHM struggle.

“I wouldn’t change my little lady for anything and being her mum is everything to me, but I wish sometimes people still saw me as ‘Cherrelle’ and not just a mum. Thank you for just summing it up perfectly,” says a fellow SAHM.

Another mom also found comfort in Mazza’s words, saying, “Thank you for expressing what so many of us feel is a fault of our own. So precious to know you’re not alone in your loneliness.”

Despite what some may think, being a full-time mom isn’t as easy as it looks. And it’s long overdue for our SAHMs to speak up.

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