After months of trying to conceive , time spent with your partner can be lacking romance and losing its spark. Spontaneity is likely to be on the decline and replaced by calculated times of “intimacy.” Not being able to complete the task of becoming pregnant can be frustrating and draining for the both of you. That’s exactly why it’s important to keep the health of your relationship a priority. Take time to nurture your family’s foundation and work on being a fun, safe, and comforting partner for your spouse.
Here are a few ideas:
1. Keep dating each other. You are together for a reason – you fell in love and enjoy each other’s company. So prove it! Don’t stop dating now that you are married or your schedule is busier. Maybe it’s the stress of trying to conceive that is wearing on you? While TTC your mind is likely focused on the many reasons you want to be entering parenthood, but in the meantime force yourselves to find reasons why you can love the season you are in and take time to enjoy it.
2. Build safety. Take time to be open with your partner about the frustrations of TTC. Create a safe place for you to share with each other. Be mindful that everyone deals with stress in unique ways and understand that your partner may deal with TTC in a different way than you are. Also, it might be beneficial to share with family, friends, or a licensed counselor if the burden of TTC feels too heavy for you both to carry alone.
3. Be spontaneous. If you have been TTC for at least a few months, it’s likely your calendar has become a rigid schedule of ovulation dates and temperature charting. It pretty much goes without saying that regular scheduling of your intimate time together isn’t exactly sexy. So, take a break! Maybe it’s a month of not charting at all (gasp!). You might feel like you are losing time and wasting a month, but your marriage is worth it.
4. Before midnight feedings and teething there were romantic dinners and movie dates. When your family of two grows into a family of three or more, it will still have the two of you as a foundation. Through this potentially rough season for your relationship, keep your foundation strong.
How have you kept your relationship a top priority?