Here’s How to Ask for What You Need at Work as a New Mom

Fellow working mom, I’ve been where you are—trying to do it all. Rushing from a client meeting that’s “running a few minutes over” straight to daycare pickup. Lying awake at 3 a.m., mind racing with endless to-do lists. Bottles and clothes to wash, lunches to pack, emails to answer. Wondering if it’s really possible to be both the mom you want to be and the professional you’ve worked so hard to become.

The truth? You don’t need to prove yourself by doing it all alone. You don’t need to sacrifice your sanity or self-worth just to show people you can “do it all.” What you need—and what every working mom needs—is support. And a lot of it.

I’ve felt the tension myself—trying to meet two sets of demands that rarely align. As an event planner trusted by everyone from world leaders to Fortune 500 companies, I believed for years that the only way forward was to sacrifice one side of myself. It was either my career or my family that had to take a backseat. But you don’t have to trade ambition for presence or motherhood for succeeding at work. You’re allowed to want both, you’re allowed to need help along the way—and you’re allowed to give yourself permission to find success.

Here’s how to ask for the support you need to thrive as a working mom.

Why Asking Feels So Hard, and Why You Should Anyway

It can feel terrifying to speak up at work, especially for your personal or family needs. What if your boss thinks you’re less committed? What if asking for flexibility makes you stand out for the wrong reasons? What if colleagues resent the accommodations you receive? I know those fears well, because I carried them too.

In the early days of my career, I thought silence was safer. Keep my head down, work harder and prove I can do it all. I watched other talented women do this until many of them quietly left the workforce altogether, not because of a lack of talent, but because the system made asking for help feel risky.

Eventually, I realized things had to change—and that the real question wasn’t how to avoid being a burden, but how to make life sustainable. That shift changed everything. Instead of feeling guilty for needing support, I built an entire business around it alongside another fellow working mom. One where we, and other women, could thrive in a world that allowed us all to show up fully—at work, at home and for ourselves.

What Support Actually Looks Like

Support is not one-size-fits-all. What you need will change depending on your child’s age, your family’s setup, your health and the season of life you’re in. The key is to pause and ask yourself: What matters most for me, right now? Here’s how that might look across the baby and toddler years:

Early postpartum and returning to work

This is often the toughest season. You’re not just potentially returning to work, you’re coming back as a different version of yourself and that can bring many emotional challenges. Your body is still healing postpartum. Baby still needs your support in ways that no one else can provide. And your professional world, which likely kept moving at full speed while you were away, expects you to jump back in seamlessly.

Support here might include:

• Pumping help. Ask your employer about a private, consistent space to pump, and protected pumping breaks blocked on your calendar like any other meeting. Make sure to read up on your pumping rights.
• A phased re-entry. Instead of going straight to full-time work, negotiate a transition month with part-time hours, flexible days or remote work to ramp back gradually.
• Time for healing. Postpartum recovery doesn’t end after six weeks. Neither do the pediatric checkups. Put those appointments on your calendar upfront if you can.

Toddler years

Toddlers bring their own brand of chaos. Frequent colds, daycare closures, difficulty at drop-off and those famous tantrums. Work doesn’t slow down, but home life can feel more demanding than ever.

Support here might look like:

• Predictable schedules. Advocate for fewer last-minute meetings and more structure. The steadier your calendar, the less frantic your mornings and evenings will feel.
• Flexibility for sick days. Build in the understanding that you may need to work from home or shift hours when your child is unwell.
• Remote or hybrid options. Even one or two days a week at home can make a huge difference. Those hours not spent commuting can turn into extra time for your family, or yourself.
• Respect for boundaries. Be clear about “log-off” times, and decide what warrants checking in after hours.

How to Ask for What You Need at Work

Once you’ve identified your needs at work, the next step is asking in a way that preserves both your boundaries and your professional relationships. This is where many of us hesitate, because we don’t want to seem demanding or ungrateful. But here’s the secret: It’s all in the framing. Instead of apologizing or downplaying, present your request as part of a thoughtful plan that allows you to keep contributing at your best. Here are a few examples:

• Instead of: “I’m so sorry, but I need to leave early.” Try: “I’ll be signing off at 4:30 for daycare pickup, so I’ll send the client a recap before then so you have it for review.”

• Instead of: “Would it be okay if I blocked out some pumping time?” Try: “I’ll be blocking my calendar for pumping every day from 1 to 1:30 p.m. I’ll make sure meetings are scheduled around those windows.”

• Instead of: “I hate to ask, but can I work from home tomorrow?” Try: “My child is home sick, so I’ll be working remotely tomorrow. I’ll be available by email and Zoom.”

How to Ask for What You Need at Home

“It takes a village” isn’t just a saying. Too often, moms silently take on the “default parent” role, juggling feedings, forms, errands and endless tasks until they’re overwhelmed. The fix? Make the invisible visible. Write down everything you’re doing, then ask: What can be shared, outsourced or dropped altogether?

Support at home might look like:

• Having a nighttime plan. Split up night feedings so both partners get real sleep.
• Rebalancing “default parent” duties. Who’s handling the doctor’s appointments? Packing lunches? Paying bills? Talk it out, don’t just take it on.
• Bringing in outside help if you can. A sitter for a few hours, a family member on backup, a grocery delivery. Small changes can make a big impact.
• Tapping into your village. Find other moms who can support you emotionally through the highs and lows, and can also be a resource in a pinch to cover a childcare gap.

I’ve tried to do it all, believing that “supermom” meant not dropping any balls. But that approach only left me depleted. What I learned is that support at home isn’t optional. It’s what creates the margin to breathe, think and actually show up as the mom and professional I want to be. When your household shifts with you, the transition back to work becomes far more sustainable.

To Sum It Up

You don’t have to choose between ambition and motherhood, or prove your strength by carrying it all alone. Start by asking for, and accepting, the support you need—at work, at home and within yourself. You deserve a life that feels possible and powerful on both fronts.

April Zorsky is Partner & Chief Creative Officer at Brigade Events, a women-owned event strategy firm trusted by world leaders, Fortune 500 brands and cultural icons. A mother of three, she’s passionate about creating experiences that spark connection while also modeling a workplace culture where women don’t have to choose between ambition and motherhood.