75% of Mothers Say Their Household Labor Goes Unnoticed

Moms are carrying more than ever before—professionally, personally and emotionally. While more women are rising to leadership roles in the workplace, they’re also fielding increased demands from daycares, schools and day-to-day household logistics. And despite the growing need for true partnership, a new study shows that many moms simply aren’t getting the support they need.

To get a clearer picture of just how overwhelming the load has become, Her Index surveyed nearly 3,500 mothers across the US about their experiences with parenting, household labor, self-care and partner support. The results reveal what many already know deep down: the invisible labor of motherhood is real, relentless and still disproportionately falling on women.

The Default Parent Dynamic

In homes across the country, moms continue to be seen as the “default parent.” Every mother surveyed said she’s the most requested person in the household, often for tasks that span the entire day. From cleaning up messes (64% report doing this five to ten times per day) to managing clutter (76% say they handle all those “little piles” solo), moms are constantly in motion. The invisible tasks add up quickly. Most moms also take full responsibility for doctor appointments, both for themselves and their children, and 94% say they’re in charge of all family travel planning and packing.

Yet despite the sheer volume of this labor, 75% of mothers say it goes completely unnoticed. Even on birthdays and Mother’s Day, more than half report managing their own celebrations. The labor is constant—and so is the invisibility.

Partners Still Aren’t Carrying Their Share

While there’s growing cultural conversation around more involved fatherhood in heterosexual relationships, the study shows many moms are still struggling to rely on their partners. Nearly half say their partner’s default response is “Just tell me what to do.” Another 28% say their partner does nothing at all when something clearly needs doing. Even when tasks are delegated, they aren’t completed quickly—58% of moms say it takes their partner more than a week to follow through.

Only 6% of moms say their partner handles grocery shopping on their own, and 36% say taking out the trash is the only chore their partner consistently handles. This uneven division isn’t just tiring—it’s straining relationships. A full 31% of moms said they would choose a different partner if given the chance to start over. Thirty percent said the imbalance at home negatively affects their romantic connection.

The Cost of Doing It All

This level of responsibility comes at a cost. Fifty-eight percent of moms say they struggle to find time for self-care. Many report spending zero time on themselves during the day. Nearly half stay up late just to get a few quiet minutes alone. Others say their only regular self-care practice is a short walk once a week. On top of that, 88% said they recently had to skip personal activities because of work or family demands. This lack of rest and recovery adds up. Moms are running on empty—and too often, no one is noticing until they burn out.

And yet, despite all this, mothers continue to pour into their families with hope and intention. An overwhelming 92% say they are raising their kids to contribute to the household, regardless of gender. Sixty-six percent intentionally give their children confidence-building tasks like ordering food on their own, aiming to raise the next generation with more balance and awareness.

What Can We Do to Support Moms

Addressing the burden on moms will take more than a few small fixes. It requires change at every level—from individual partnerships to the federal expansion of paid family leave, affordable childcare and a cultural shift in who is expected to carry the mental and physical load of parenting. Moms need more than empty promises, they need systems that support shared responsibility and help prevent burnout.

The study’s authors note that companies and brands have a role to play as well. They recommend meeting moms where they are by automating repetitive tasks, avoiding unrealistic portrayals of motherhood and offering tools that empower partners to step up in meaningful ways.

Because when moms are supported, they don’t just survive, they thrive. And when they thrive, families, workplaces and communities are better for it.