Men Tell All: 8 Changes to Marriage Every New Dad Should Expect
Wondering what to expect as a first-time dad? You’re not alone! A new baby naturally has a huge effect on your life, including your relationship with your partner. We asked fathers to shed some light on how having kids changed their marriages. While we were expecting tons of dads to say, “Sex? What’s that?” (and plenty did), we got a lot of unexpected confessions too! From the good to the bad, these dads aren’t holding back. Here’s what’s changed in their lives since baby came along.
1. It’s a more grown-up relationship.
“The reality of family finally hit us. Our second baby made us mature and really begin thinking of the other person and how to help them.” — johnnyjay44
“We are both more confident—as people, friends, lovers, parents.” — dad2b
2. Their partners are more absent—and they miss them.
“My wife? Have you seen her? Haha!” — lovemylittleguys
3. Quality time together is nonexistent.
“We only talk about our daughter and our sleeping arrangements…our time together has lessened.” — yanksfan2
4. Some roles have been reversed.
“Now I’m the one who’s always doing dishes, vacuuming or cooking.” — prepping4baby
5. Sex isn’t as frequent—but it can still be as good as, and maybe even better than, before.
“We’re having less sex!” — jamesdad
“We share a lot more responsibility and I would definitely say more intimacy, as we appreciate our time alone a lot more.” — 88giants80
6. They feel like they’re finally getting this marriage thing right.
“It has made me and my wife grow stronger and forced us to develop teamwork.” — prouDad45
“One thing I noticed on the positive is that we tend to argue about the little things a lot less. Who has time/energy to argue?” — chitowndad
“We’ve gotten better at taking turns…sleeping, eating, cleaning, holding the baby—a lot of emphasis on being equitable.” — puertoricanpop
7. They believe this is the ultimate test.
“Everything changes. Sex life, conversations, time spent together. Kids change your routine, and it’s when your relationship is truly tested.” — luckyguydad
8. They’ve fallen in love with their partners all over again.
“I didn’t think it was possible, but I fall more in love with my wife with every baby that we have together.” — babyontheway77
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Are you experiencing negative changes in your relationship after baby? A marriage counselor can really help! Set up an appointment with a local professional or try a relationship counseling app like Lasting, which offers a personalized marriage health program based on your specific concerns, addressing everything from communication to conflict, sex and more.
Updated November 2018