Drew Barrymore’s Best Advice for Parenting Kids With Big Feelings

Drew Barrymore is sharing the best piece of parenting advice she’s gotten yet! In a recent conversation on her talkshow The Drew Barrymore Show the Never Been Kissed actress delved into approaching her daughter’s big feelings with psychologist and parenting expert Dr. Aliza Pressman

Reflecting on her journey, Barrymore recounted a time when Olive, now 11 years old, was navigating a difficult phase. “You specifically changed my life. I had my daughter Olive, who Aliza knows,” Barrymore began. “She was going through a phase, this was years ago, where when she would get upset, I would try to go to her, and I would try to make it better.”

Barrymore, who shares two daughters with ex-husband Will Kopelman, recognized that her attempts to immediately intervene during Olive’s distress were ineffective. “I didn’t understand it,” she admitted. “Either way was like the two extremes of no goodness, and Aliza taught me to regulate myself.”

Pressman’s counsel centered on the importance of regulating one’s own emotions before approaching a child in distress. Barrymore recalled Pressman’s simple yet impactful advice: “You said walk in the room and just say, ‘I understand we’re having a moment. ‘I’m here on the other side of this door for you, waiting. When you are ready, I am here.’”

This shift in approach empowered Barrymore to give Olive the space she needed while also maintaining her own composure. “I got the best results I’ve ever gotten in my parenting from that, and it was never a way in I had thought of,” Barrymore reflected.

Pressman emphasized the tendency for parents to instinctively try to “fix” their children’s emotions out of fear. “I think we get so scared of the big feelings that we want to fix them. And we’re chasing them,” Pressman explained. “And the message is like, ‘We are afraid of feelings.’ And feelings aren’t dangerous. Being able to regulate ourselves as the adults and say, ‘Okay, I’m not being chased by a bear. My daughter’s not being chased by a bear.’ Meaning it’s not an emergency. It’s a feeling.”

The insightful exchange between Barrymore and Pressman struck a chord with viewers, as evidenced by the reactions on social media. Comments flooded in expressing gratitude for the valuable advice.

“I heard great advice that said ask them “do you want to be hugged, heard or helped?” Then you respect which they choose and don’t push,” one user commented. “'It’s not an emergency, it’s a feeling’. Brilliant,” added another.

If you are trying to navigate the waters of your child’s big feelings, check out this guide on surviving temper-tantrums.