This Simple Act Is the Secret to a Happy Marriage When You're Raising a Family

“If there are two pieces of toast, and one looks better than the other, I give her the better toast.”

That’s the advice Leslie Means, of the parenting lifestyle blog Her View From Home, received when a family member asked her great-grandfather about the secret to a happy marriage. After being married for more than 50 years, he certainly qualifies as an expert on the topic.

Means sat on his advice for a while. Can such an easy gesture really keep a couple strong through all of life’s crazy obstacles? Well, it can’t hurt.

“Maybe it really is that simple,” the blogger says. “In the stress of running a house, working jobs and raising kids, our spouses can often get the worst of us. When we have nothing left, we tend to feed ourselves instead of each other.”

Small acts of kindness are easy ways for you and your partner to remind each other how much you both love each other—even during the hecticness of raising kids, paying bills and maintaining a home.

“Maybe if we consistently give more of our small things, it will open up room for bigger things to grow; we’ll see more grace, more affection and ultimately build a stronger love.”

This is everso important to remember, especially when you and your partner are new parents. Navigating your relationship when baby arrives adds a ton of new curve balls, and many times couples are not prepared.

“If we put our spouse’s happiness above our own, [we] both get fed. Well-fed people are happier people; happier people have happier marriages. I think that’s what great-grandpa meant,” she says.

“Give them the better toast—you’ll be thankful you did.”

The first three years of raising a child tend to be the most difficult on a couple’s relationship. But a strong marriage not only benefits you and your partner, but baby too. Luckily, there’s an app to help you with that (because, of course!). The Lasting app is a a science-backed marriage health app designed to be like marriage counseling on your own terms. The app recommends areas that could use some work in your relationship, and the daily quizzes and exercises will help you proactively strengthen your marriage.