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Viral TikTok Helps New Moms Set Boundaries This Holiday Season

No kissing the baby. No posting pictures without permission. These are just two of the several boundaries outlined in a viral video that's inspiring moms to set clear expectations around interactions with baby.
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By Wyndi Kappes, Associate Editor
Published December 21, 2023
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The holidays are here, and for new parents toting around baby to events, get-togethers and family functions, everyday social interactions can suddenly become a minefield. In order to head off arguments and keep things simple this season, one mom has gone viral for her list of baby boundaries to set forward with your family and friends.

Motherhood influencer and mom of three Alexis, @alexiskristiana has garnered almost 33,000 views of her go-to boundaries for parents with newborns this season. They include:

  • Baby won’t be passed around. “We’re not playing hot potato with a newborn or an infant. We’re just not doing it,” she says.
  • No sharing photos without permission. “I think this is the strangest thing ever. If the parent hasn’t even announced that they had a newborn, let’s not share those Christmas newborn photos without them having shared them first. Let’s just not do that.”
  • We’re not kissing babies this holiday season. This one is especially important as the season of the big three respiratory illnesses, RSV, flu and Covid crop up in high numbers.

Outside of these boundaries around how to handle baby, Alexis also outlines boundaries parents can set around their needs and new bodies.

  • Keep your advice inside —to yourself— unless we actually ask for it. “We don’t want to hear it. Keep it to yourself.”
  • Let’s be understanding of when we need to leave early. “Let’s not have a major freak out if we have to leave early to meet the needs of our family, because that’s what comes first.”
  • We are feeding our baby wherever and whenever we need to. “We are not hiding in closets or in our car, we are feeding right there next to you while you eat your cake on Christmas day.”
  • Let’s not talk about the comments on moms’ bodies and how her body’s changed since she became a mom, because not cool. “We’re being patient. We’re giving grace. We’re not expecting us to be the same as we were last year or two years before because now we have these babies and these kids. Things are different. Let’s respect where we’re at in the season and let’s not judge new mamas,” she notes.

Alexis rounds out the video encouraging new moms to embrace how things might be a little different this season and to be brave in setting these boundaries. If you are feeling awkward about setting boundaries, remember that boundaries aren’t a list of can’t dos as much as they are a helpful list of things that enable both parties, you and your family to go into interactions confidently.

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