Penn Badgley on the Two Words Every Parent Should Say More Often

Sometimes, two simple words can make all the difference—just ask You star Penn Badgley. The actor is preparing to go from dad of two to dad of four, as he and wife Domino Kirke recently announced they’re expecting twins. The new arrivals will join their four-year-old son and Kirke’s teenage son from a previous relationship. Amid the chaos of parenting and preparing for double the diapers, Badgley says he’s still focused on being the best father he can be. And when asked about his greatest strength as a dad, his answer was refreshingly simple.

“Best dad quality, listening and then saying I’m sorry,” he revealed to Alex Cooper on her podcast Call Her Daddy. “Fathers can be great, and I think what we do not attribute to a father much is saying something like ‘I’m sorry’ and really listening. I’m trying to be opposite there.”

Badgley went on to share a memory of when he first realized just how powerful an apology can be with a child. His son was about three at the time and, like many toddlers, refused to get in his car seat. “It was a minor moment—he would not get in the car seat, as any parent knows,” Badgley said. “And anybody who hasn’t had kids is like, ‘Oh shut up about the f*** up about car seats.’ But yeah, it can be hard. It’s a battle.”

While Badgley admitted to initially losing his patience, he also caught himself in the moment. “I noticed that I was losing my patience in a way that was like I was speaking to him in a way that I’d never spoken to [him] before, which is kind of short… you know, like a little dickish,” he said. “He was being crazy—but he’s allowed.”

“I think I realized it as I was doing it… I just said, ‘I’m sorry. I’m being really impatient with you, aren’t I?’ And then he just went, ‘Yeah.’ And it immediately broke,” Badgley recalled. “I said, ‘You’re right. I don’t like the way I was speaking to you.’ It was real. He relaxed. So I buckled him in.”

Reflecting on the exchange, Badgley said, “That was new. You know, me apologizing to a three-year-old as his father. That’s new. And that was a beautiful moment.” Cooper agreed, adding, “That is beautiful, ’cause it means you’re changing generationally what you’re going to now instill in your kid. And then if he ever has kids, he hopefully will do that.”

The moment struck a chord online, with many praising Badgley for breaking generational patterns. “I apologize more to my kid before noon than my parents ever did in my lifetime,” one parent commented. Baby speech therapist Melissa Minney added, “That perspective shift of ‘oh right, they’re 3 and I’m an adult’ helps so much. I’ve seen therapists say to look at their hands to remind you how small they are. That helps me a lot.” Another chimed in with a favorite reminder: “In difficult toddler moments, it helps to remember, they aren’t giving me a hard time, they’re having a hard time.”