Viral Video Shares Hack to Keep Your Easily-Frustrated Toddler Calm

Life is easily frustrating as a little one. From boxes you can’t open to shelves you can’t reach and things you don’t understand, if your toddler seems to be set off on a complete meltdown over the smallest things, you aren’t alone. While there’s no magical button for calming down your kid mid-meltdown, one therapist has recently gone viral for her simple hack to mitigate the meltdown to begin with.

In a now viral post, Deena Margolin, a licensed child therapist and one of the moms behind Big Little Feelings, shares her “game-changing tip for toddlers who get frustrated easily”—the “spot the right” method. In the video, Margolin outlines the method she uses day-to-day to make an impact.

“If you catch them in situations where they’ve had to try something two, three, four, five times to achieve their goal, I want you to spotlight that—to shout it out with them and celebrate!” Margolin adds. “Say, ‘Hey, you had to try that four different times before you got it, and you did not give up. Way to go!’”

Margolin explains that this “spotlight the right” method helps toddlers build a “strong inner narrative that can stick with them about how sometimes you’re going to have to try multiple times before you get it, and you didn’t give up.” This positive reinforcement helps your toddler not only feel proud of their accomplishment but can become a “key strategy that’s then top-of-mind for next time they’re in a tough or tricky situation.”

Parents in the comments quickly chimed in with their success stories and questions. “We do this for our 2.5 year old and she’s even come up with her own adorable saying she now uses to hyper herself up. She says ‘I have to try and try and try and the ta-da!’ It makes me so proud every time,” noted one parent. “When we get mad or frustrated in our house we start singing the Aliyah song “if at first you don’t succeed, brush yourself off and try again try again” 🤣 it’s honestly worked wonders,” added another.

But for some parents, the spotlight on the right method doesn’t always take hold, and Margolin acknowledges that that’s okay. “That can happen, and you’re not alone here,” Margolin responded to one mom who shared that her toddler still gets frustrated, even when doing things they’ve mastered in the past. “It can be super helpful to model this yourself and show them what it looks like to feel frustrated, keep trying, and handle this feeling in a healthy way. You can also incorporate this during play and role play with dolls/toys,” she added.

If your little one continues to struggle with big temper tantrums despite your best efforts consider this guide on toddler tantrums, including why they happen and how to cope.