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Viral Post Addresses Drop in Second Pregnancy Support and Celebration

Feeling a void in support and excitement from family and friends when it comes to your second child? You're in good company.
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By Wyndi Kappes, Associate Editor
Published January 10, 2024
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Image: Mikhaylovskiy | Shutterstock

Preparing for the arrival of your second baby? You may have read countless guides on what to expect, what to do, and how it’ll all feel. By the second time around, you might even feel like you’re a pro at this parenting thing. However, a recent viral post on the subreddit r/Mommit sheds light on an unexpected aspect of baby number two – the support drop-off.

The original poster shared her experience, highlighting the noticeable decline in support during her second pregnancy and after the arrival of her second child. The outpouring of welcome cards, knitted outfits, and gifts that accompanied her first child’s birth was absent for her second one. Her heartwarming memory box for the firstborn contrasted sharply with the emptiness for her second son, leaving her heartbroken.

“I didn’t expect meals or much concern for myself, but I truly did not think my son would be ‘forgotten,’ even to a degree, especially by our immediate family!” she noted. “So please, brace yourself for this with your other children if you also didn’t know.”

In the comments, parents echoed the same sentiment, noting a lack of support not only during their pregnancy and postpartum period but also a lack of excitement and fanfare over their little ones. “I have siblings who haven’t even bothered to meet my 2nd and 3rd babies. The postpartum period with both was an extremely lonely time for me,” noted one parent.

“Yup, my second hasn’t gotten even a 1/4 that my first got from family. I was putting up Christmas ornaments last month and I noticed I had so many gifted personalized ornaments from my first and zero for my second baby so the guilt hit me quick and I ordered his own,” noted another parent. “This hits home hard right now. My little boy is 4 weeks old and it has been probably the most lonely 4 weeks I’ve ever had,” added another.

Amid these challenges, many moms highlighted the lack of postpartum support for themselves. Some offered uplifting suggestions to make the second time around equally special. “I threw a baby shower for my second son because I still wanted to celebrate him. I asked people not to bring gifts and just write little notes for the baby. I just wanted to share the name I had picked for him and let people see my gigantic belly bump. It was really lovely,” one mom shared.

Another mom noted that her second time around, she “really noticed and appreciated the people who sent cards (and often token gifts of a book, toy, or outfit) for every child. Unsurprisingly, they’re mostly the ones who have more than one child themselves.”

Whether you’re welcoming baby number 2, 3, or 4, or you are supporting someone who is, remember to extend a little extra love during this sometimes “forgotten” season of life. Your support can make a world of difference in making every child feel just as cherished as the first. And let’s not forget the importance of postpartum support for moms, ensuring no one feels alone during this transformative time.

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