Amid Birthday Party Fatigue One Mom Shares Her Three-Party Policy

From balloon arches to party entertainment and extravagant goody bags, kids’ birthday parties over the past few years have grown to be more and more elaborate. And while there’s nothing wrong with going all-out if you have the time, money and passion for it, for some parents, the stress of putting on a fantastical birthday party for their kid—or even taking them to and from all these parties—runs a bit too high.

Amid the birthday overload, one mom recently went viral for her controversial three-birthday party policy. Marissa Light, @marissalight on TikTok, recently laid out her plans for her kid’s birthdays in a short video, calling it her “hot mom take,” the just of it, appearing in text on the video, she’s not throwing her kids yearly birthday parties.

“Under no circumstances will I be throwing my daughter a birthday party every single year,” the 28-year-old mom noted. “Here’s the deal: She is getting a first birthday party, she is getting a Sweet Sixteen and she is getting a graduation party following her March birthday. Other than that, she is not getting any more birthday parties.” All of this adding up to just three big parties over her first 18 years.

“Now, I have been to many children’s birthday parties whether they were 3 … 7 … 12 … and I’m sorry but as someone who did not have a kid at the time, they were not enjoyable. And I don’t even think the kid noticed that I was there. I am not going to force that on my friends and family,” Light adds. “Now look, if you are someone who genuinely enjoys throwing your child a birthday party, pop off, Queen. Do what you want to do. I’m not telling anyone else how to live their lives. I just personally don’t find it necessary and I’m not going to be doing it."

Light notes that just because she won’t be throwing a big celebration with friends every year doesn’t mean her daughter won’t have her big day acknowledged. “My daughter will be loved and celebrated on her birthday every single year, it just won’t be in that way,” she notes. “We will have dinner and cake with them every single year to celebrate my daughter’s birthday,” she said in the video. “And every year on her birthday, we are going to do a ‘Daisy Day’ or an ‘All About You’ day.”

In lieu of a big birthday celebration with friends, Light outlines a Daisy Day (her daughter’s name is Daisy). From her daughter picking out what she wants for breakfast in the morning to choosing special activities, going shopping and having a one-on-one dinner with her parents, a Daisy Day or ‘All About You’ day is a kid’s dream day to be in charge.

Light does note that as her daughter grows, starts being invited to birthday parties and possibly wants one of her own, she will have a choice. Daisy day or big party with friends. “And again, if you like to throw yearly parties, throw yearly parties,” she said in the video. “I’m just saying as someone who has been to a lot of them and kind of felt obligated to be at them, I’m just not going to be doing it.”

Predictably the viral video caused quite the stir in the comments. “As someone who didn’t get birthday parties please do that for your kid,” wrote one user. “The kid who doesn’t have parties (meaning no one gets invited) usually becomes the same kid that other parents don’t think to invite at all,” noted another.

Some people were quick to point out that Light wasn’t putting a total kibosh on celebrating her daughter’s birthday but rather was just looking to celebrate it in a different way. “I take it some people didn’t watch the full video,” several people commented. “Having a dinner & cake with family is still a birthday party though. Just with an inclusive guest list,” another parent chimed in. “That is the perfect setup. When she’s too little to care about a party, she gets a day. When she wants one, you’re on board. Perfection,” added another.

Whatever way you choose to celebrate one user noted that it’s important to take your cues from your child. Maybe they are introverted and would love a Daisy Day. Or maybe they can’t wait to celebrate each year with plenty of friends. As with any part of parenting, whatever works for your family is what’s best!